Leaking lips

For some strange reason, I have been breaking out on the sides of my mouth. The pimple isn’t what’s interesting, it’s the location: the ‘inseam’ where my top and bottom lip meet.

Because of their colour, they end up looking like a continuation of my lip. They make my mouth frown and curve my lips downwards. That’s not the worst part of it. They also make my lips appear to be leaking.

For years I’ve made the joke that my pout is due to surgical enhancement, like 90 per cent of my body (also a joke). Since the pimple is where the injection goes, it looks like something went wrong in the doctor’s office.

Of course, if the scab cracks, a tiny amount of clear liquid emanates from the pimple, making it look like the Restylane is escaping.

There’s no way I can win when I tell the truth... or when I lie.