I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, January 07, 2008

National holiday in Canada

January 10th is a national holiday in Canada. People have the day off work. The stores are closed. There are parades, with floats and marchers. Everyone is happy. And, it’s all because they’re celebrating my birthday.

It’s too bad I’m the only one who doesn’t enjoy partaking in the fun. It has nothing to do with getting older (I’ll only be 25), looking older (I’ll only look 25), and feeling older (I’ll only feel 105).

To me, birthdays symbolize personal achievement markers. Sadly, my markers aren’t where I want them to be.

Being someone who sets high goals for himself, it bothers me when I don’t reach them. I feel like a failure. Those who are close to me know I’m disappointed and they feel it, too. They want me to be happy, but it’s hard when I can’t do it by myself.

I have a list of things I want to accomplish, and I haven’t done the things that matter the most. True, some of the superfluous items have been checked off (contributing editor, MTV appearances), but they’re only the icing on the cake. What happens when there’s no cake? You get left with a lot of empty calories.

I don’t have a career, I barely have a job, I don’t own property, I hardly get to travel (even to the store). And, don’t get me started on a relationship. I have enough problems being single.

So, what is there to celebrate? Failure? Let me pull some pom-poms out of my ass and shake them – my ass included.

On the bright side, I have a full year to accomplish what many people take a full decade to do. And, if that isn’t cause for celebration, I don’t know what is.

Woo hoo!


Anonymous scottk said...

Uhmmmm Happy Birthday ...er I think ....or....mmmmm...yeah oh shoot well salutations anyway .

January 06, 2008 11:53 pm  
Anonymous eliot said...

im sad now.

January 07, 2008 12:10 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

Damn, and I thought my life sucked. Anyway, I hope your version of "Groundhog Day." celebrating your 25th birthday yet again (and again, and again) is a positive experience this go around.

And if I forget to wish you a happy birthday this week, I'll catch you next year or the following and wish you a happy 25th!

By the way, next time you pull pom poms outta your ass, DO NOT SHAKE THEM. that's gross!

January 07, 2008 12:14 am  
Blogger Chris said...

You have a lot more going for you than you realize. You're good looking, funny and have a way with words, as opposed to 98% of the population who are ugly, boring and can't form a basic sentence without the word "like".

Now chin up, boyfriend.

January 07, 2008 8:55 am  
Blogger Greg said...

Like, I totally agree with Chris. lol
Dude, I sure as hell would love to see that naked ass of yours shaking! As for your birthday, enjoy it. Being in the 20's, and even 30's, is no need to feel old.
The 40's now .... ahem ... what was I saying?
Hope you don't mind me wishing you a Happy Birthday anyway and I hope you achieve this year everything you wanted and even more.

January 07, 2008 10:16 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

i want to see a picture of you shaking pompoms out your ass!

January 07, 2008 10:20 am  
Blogger Steven said...

January 10th is this Thursday, not today. There are a few more days of wallowing in pity to go.

January 07, 2008 10:35 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Failure? SHIT SLOW DOWN MAN! Your not even 25 yet, what you think that by 25 you are suppose to have everything accomplished already? You are doing fine and already ahead of guys a lot older than you! Just relax you have a long road ahead with plenty of time for mistakes and successes!


January 07, 2008 10:46 am  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...

I stopped having Birthdays when I hit 29.

Happy Birthday to you on the 10th!

January 07, 2008 1:56 pm  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...


Bring on the bootie shaking!

January 07, 2008 1:57 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

Let's play Scrabble (even though I hate playing games). I'll start:
Pessimism, cynicism. Can we start with those two? Don't hate me. You know I love you.....only 25? Please. By the time you're MY AGE, you'll get it all figured out....yeah, right. Happiest of happy days to you! Gift is in the mail. And, besides, we WINTER BABIES (mine is next month) are AWESOME.

January 07, 2008 3:05 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

My gosh should I call you Debbie Downer? Life's not always easy but I think its the things that we struggle with that ultimately make us better. I for one think your a really nice guy and enjoy your writing and the occasional chats. Happy Birthday! Have some fun or I'll send you a box of fun-shine enemas as a gift!

January 07, 2008 4:30 pm  
Blogger nash said...

Typical bloody Capricorn! Jeez Steven, wait 'til you get to my age and still can't check all those things off your list. Now go on and enjoy yourself (and send any unwanted presents my way)


January 07, 2008 9:37 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

Why not enjoy the fact that you haven't got a line on your (rather handsome, if I may say so) smooth, youthful, 25-year old face? When you're old and dried up like an apple-head lady it will be nice to be able to look back and know that you celebrated your youth when you were in your youth. ;-)

January 10, 2008 12:54 pm  

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