I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, January 04, 2008

Surrogate single

Since I am – usually – one of the single people at social functions, I find that I feel out of place just for the fact that I am different than everyone else due to my relationship status.

While some people couldn’t care less, others tend to gravitate towards me like a wounded animal on the side of the road. Apparently, they think it’s sad to be single in public.

Quite often, I am at these shindigs by the mercy of an invited guest: the surrogate single. I am the snappily dressed guy with the even snappier comeback who entertains my date and mingles amongst the guests in order to make everyone ask “Who is that guy? You know, that one over there? No, not him. The one with the really nice teeth. Oh yeah, him. Ummm...”

But, I think being single is a good thing, and I’m assuming I’m not the only one who feels this way when at a get-together.

To back up this assumption, I ask a few people what they think of being a surrogate single. Even though the answers range from one of the spectrum to the other, most of them consider singledom a plus, rather than a minus. And, not all of the thoughts are from single people - more than half of them are from couples.

Some of them say surrogate singles…

- Have the better stories to tell because they actually go out (and live a life).
- Can make a fool of themselves because they’re not seeing these people again.
- Tend to always look good in case they meet someone “special.”
- Can sneak out of an event if it gets boring.
- Can bail out if there is the prospect of sex (how many couples can do that?).
- Don't go to bed when the sun goes down (unlike parents).

So, maybe it isn't that bad being single. Then again, I can't use the excuse of having to tuck my children into bed to leave a party early. Damn. Maybe I can borrow someone's kid if I'm really desperate.

8 Comments:

Blogger about a boy said...

being isnt bad at all. its better than being with someone just to be a couple. been there. done that. wasnt fun. so single it is.

but only for now.

January 04, 2008 9:25 am  
Blogger Rusty said...

I have to pick some of the invitations carefully. Most of my coupled friends can't stand the idea of anyone being single,so I keep finding many of the occassions are chances to "introduce" me to another "miserable single."

I need to find some friends like yours who will let me be the fabulous single guy who makes their event a smashing success.

January 04, 2008 11:38 am  
Anonymous scottk said...

You know I tend to agree with ya , I know that being single is really an advantage when moving into a new area, and checking out the "Gay Scene". My X and I ran into that problem when we moved to Cali. No one would talk to us when we were standing together as a couple, because they assumed (rightly so) that we were a couple. Then we tried the split up approach and we would meet people then bring them back to meet our partner and they would think we were looking for a 3 way instead of just friendship. It was tough. Needless to say that was a good time to use chat rooms and be up front about just meeting friends to hang out with. We actually met folks that way that I still talk to on a regular basis.

January 04, 2008 8:35 pm  
Anonymous Tuna Girl said...

You can borrow my kids anytime.

January 05, 2008 2:50 am  
Blogger Naked Boy said...

Weddings are the worst, I have two coming up. :(

January 05, 2008 9:52 am  
Blogger Greg said...

lol great points about the benefits of "surrogate singles".

January 05, 2008 11:33 am  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...

I have used the "Got to get the kids in bed" plenty of times as an excuse to leave a party. ;o)

January 05, 2008 11:55 pm  
Blogger Naijadude said...

Well I will pick being single over anything man! so easy to sneak out of parties!!

January 06, 2008 12:30 pm  

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