I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Pop, pop, zit, zit, oh what a relief it is

Every morning, after I finish visiting the throne, I stand in front of the sink, getting ready to wash my face. After the water is splashed on my skin, I take a look in the mirror and let my eyes focus.

Hmmm… What is that? That small mark? I think. There’s another one. And, another. My finger presses against my cheek as I lean towards the mirror.

Awww, shit. They’re zits. Not one, not two, not three, but four of them. All in a row. All in the area between my nose and basolabial fold. Fuck.

I make an effort to keep my pores clean because, even though I have a luminous complexion, my skin can get oily if I exert myself physically. But, this isn’t fair.

At this moment, my skin resembles the episode of Family Guy where Chris, the dimwitted son, grows a talking (and homicidal) zit overnight and slathers some bacon grease on the rest of his face to multiply them because the talking (and homicidal) zit is taking over his life.

What do I do? I pop them. Every single fucker. What's left behind? Four red marks. Eight fingernail marks. Zero zits. And, I am elated even though my face looks like it was slashed by Freddy Kreuger.

5 Comments:

Blogger Silly Billy said...

How come no pictures are accompanying this post? Hmmmmmm?

I put toothpast on them when I see them (before bed). Not sure if that works or not, but I like to think it does.

February 19, 2008 8:49 am  
Blogger Chris said...

Toothpaste works, but you have to use the white paste kind, not the gel.

I am constantly checking for zits. Do you ever get them during the day and not know it until you get home at night? And you wonder how many people you spoke with during the course of the day saw that zit and thought, "He should pop that."

February 19, 2008 9:24 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Eeeeeeewwwww! That was gross Steven, well anyway thanks for sharing! Haha! ;p
I still get the stupid things on my back all the time!

February 19, 2008 3:13 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

I tried toothpaste once, and it just ended up on my pillow case.

February 19, 2008 7:42 pm  
Blogger Greg said...

Thanks for the laugh, Steven!
lawd have mercy, just when I think you can't get anymore disgusting .... lol

February 24, 2008 9:48 pm  

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