I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Hair apparent

As we’re sitting across from each other, both with our cups of coffee in our hands, the light from the window shines on his fine, strawberry blonde hair and makes it look almost transparent.

Then, I notice something. It looks like a piece of fluff that is flying around the room and has landed on his ear. The only problem with that thought is the fluff is on both ears and it’s probably not fluff.

While we talk, my eyes gloss over parts of his face and back onto his ears. No, it’s definitely not fluff. It’s hair. Random strands of hair. Fine hair. They’re sort of long, but shorter than the hairs on his head. There are a few that wrap around the cartilage of his ears; both of them.

When he moves his head, they don’t fall off. In fact, when he runs his hands over the side of his head, they bounce back into position.

Oh my God, they’re growing out of his ears! Can he not see them? He has to see them because even the blind man who just walked into the coffee shop noticed them. They’re just there. Two inches of strawberry blonde sprouts. If they were a little longer, he could braid them.

When it comes to the personal grooming of unwanted body hair, men are usually swift when it comes to removing nose and ear hair. The occasional hair is fine, because not everyone stands in front of a mirror, primping for hours. Apparently, this guy didn’t get the memo.

Making the matter worse is the fact he’s young and good looking. He’s not an old man with his pants hiked to under his armpits, wearing black socks with sandals, and talking about his childhood during the first world war.

By the time we say goodbye, I make a concerned effort to refrain from saying anything. I just hope that there's a wind strong enough to blow those pieces of fluff from both ears. God, I bloody hope so.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I would rather see hair strands on ears than someone with overly manicured eyebrows...Somebody should send out a memo about guys who do that too...Just my opinion.


February 08, 2008 9:55 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

subtlety is one of your more redeeming qualities. so, i am perplext as to why you are in a quandry.

perhaps you could have just offered to braid his ear hair for him. that might have given him a clue.

February 08, 2008 10:08 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I figure if there's something that a person wants to offer as constructive advice, they should just do that. I mean, unless you know the guy real well, be nice about it. On the other hand, it's a really tricky thing to do, since one worries about causing embarrassment.

OTOH, I'd rather someone pull me aside and give me some help then have me continue to be embarrassed.

February 08, 2008 10:58 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well now you know what to get him for his birthday....a pair of damn tweezers !

February 08, 2008 7:58 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

I'm afraid I'd have to say something, well...maybe on the second or third date. Sometimes people just don't know. Especially if it's as hard to see as you say it was. Plus, it's on TOP of the ears.....who in the hell has actually SEEN THE TOP OF THEIR OWN EARS? Distracting, I'll bet.

February 08, 2008 9:21 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

I've noticed them on my ears and I think "How could I not have noticed that before it was an inch long?" Maybe they grow in one night, lol.

February 09, 2008 6:58 am  
Blogger madamerouge said...

mine grows at a rate that necessitates twice-weekly trimmings

THANKS, body

no hair on top of head--but plenty in the nose and ears!


February 13, 2008 8:52 pm  
Blogger Phronk said...

This is why I keep tweezers by my computer and randomly pluck at my ears while I read blogs.

But like Rouge, I wish more of those hairs would sprout higher on my head.

February 14, 2008 11:15 pm  

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