I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

God can't teach worth shit

It has been said that certain things happen to certain people because God wants to teach them a lesson. Unfortunately, not everyone learns the meaning of the message. It could be the student is stupid, or God can’t teach worth shit.

A few years ago, a cousin of mine underwent a radical surgery to correct an asymmetry in his upper body. He was lopsided after going through puberty while hunching over and to the side (due to a lack of self-esteem). The operation was extreme and the recovery was painful.

Not too long after, he was diagnosed with leukemia. He went through the same routines that many sufferers go through: the medication, the hair falling out, the weight loss, etc. When he was given a – conditional – clean bill of health, the family breathed a sigh of relief. They thought the worse was behind them.

Then, a few months ago, he relapsed. No one is sure (and no one is telling) what happened. But, one thing was known: his body was finally giving up. When awake, he told his family and doctors to let him go in peace. There was no use; he was going in and out of consciousness, and into a comatose state.

He died three days before my birthday.

Coming back to lessons taught and lessons learned, I begin to wonder what God was trying to teach him. There are millions of people who suffer through an ailment only to recover (or not). There are few who suffer through three illnesses and live to tell about them.

It’s doubtful that God had a good reason to do this. This isn’t a baseball analogy – three strikes and you’re out. This is someone’s life, and a young someone at that. Whether the lack of understanding is due to the student or the teacher, is unknown. What is known is that God can use a little subtlety with his teaching techniques.


Blogger Jesse Archer said...

I'm sorry you lost your cousin so prematurely. Perhaps his life's lessons were not so much for him, but to teach people like you and me to be more grateful and understanding. Just a thought.

Then again, I don't believe in god.

January 30, 2008 12:52 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

I know you know this, but I am sorry for your loss.

As for the lesson, perhaps the lesson was not intended for your cousin, but for all those he touched.

Perhaps the doctors learned a bit of being more focused on caring for the entire person, not just the condition.

Perhaps the lesson is for your family, in seeing how, even in the face of inexplicable suffering, someone can show courage, determination, hope...

Perhaps the lesson is in you writing this post, a lesson for me, and you other 7 readers...

In any event, i hope your family's grief still allows you to remember the good parts of your cousin.

January 30, 2008 9:34 am  
Blogger Chris said...

Maybe the only lesson is that life is unexpectedly random and that we need to live for today.

It annoys me to no end when people throw the whole God complex into it when you're just trying to grieve.

January 30, 2008 10:06 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

My wishes, good thoughts, and prayers are sent off to you and your family....but you already know that. No, I don't know that there are answers...from god or anyone else. These ups and downs of each of our lives are nothing but tough to handle sometimes. Email or call if you need to. My best to you and your family.

January 30, 2008 11:46 am  
Blogger Doghigh said...

My sincere sympathy to you and your family.

Peronally I never can make sense when things like this happen. It pisses me off and it makes me sad.

My cousin died at 21 from complications that resulted from taking birth control. It was ridiculous and random and stupid. I came to the conclusion then that there is no lesson to be learned from these tragedies. Nobody learned a thing...not her, not her mother (who's husband died the year before), brother, husband or any member of the family.

But then from this mess and randomness came inspiration and hope from a life lived and a battle fought. It's not a lesson from g*d but a sort of legacy from my cousin.

In the chaos it was a welcome peace. No more, no less.

January 30, 2008 2:06 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

Kiki Durane, of "Kiki and Herb" has a saying about the meaning of death and suffering: "People die. That's all you need to know."

There's this movie "The Rapture" that you might like, and not just because David Duchovny is naked in it - it has an interesting take on God: in the movie He exists, but He's also kind of an asshole.

(PS - I'm sorry about your cousin.)

January 30, 2008 5:08 pm  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

I'm sorry to hear about your cousin. I agree with the others who are saying that his short life may have been to help us still left here to appreciate what we have and be grateful. Again, my condolences to you and your family.

January 30, 2008 6:07 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG don't get me started about this "Gawd" thing! But truly sorry to read about your cousin dying, and in such a way. I've had family die of that damn disease too so I know somewhat what you and he were going through.

I'm sorry, but TO ME, there really isn't a "lesson" in having a young person die. Its tragic, plain and simple. I suppose we can look back and remember the good things, but there still is the emptiness.

There's a couple of books that come to mind that describes how this Gawd person, IF he/she exists, is most like.

Ever hear of the book from Robert Heinlein called "J O B: A comedy of Justice". Sure its a comedy, but lawdy, it seems to describes the madness of this supposed "creator".

Also a good fiction novel by Anne Rice called "Memnoch The Devil".

Yikes, I almost got carried away again!

Anyway, truly from the bottom of my heart, my sympathies and best wishes and even hugs, if I could, to you and your family.

February 01, 2008 3:54 am  
Blogger john said...

My condolences to you and your family.
I know it may be hard to see right now through the grief. But whenever I feel angry, it helped me to talk to Him and to pray.
My prayers are with you.

February 02, 2008 12:43 pm  
Blogger nikoeternal.com said...

I'm sorry for your loss, but it seems to me that he gave up long before he got leukemia. The lesson here is to love yourself despite what anyone else has to say. If u believe in reincarnation, he'll have another shot at getting it right.

February 04, 2008 10:58 pm  

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