I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

A dictionary is a book of words

As my parents and I are sitting at Tim Horton’s and drinking coffee, the conversation veers into something controversial that my mother doesn’t have a good concept of. She immediately sides with the ‘non-guilty’ party and this pisses my father off.

“You’re being naïve,” he tells her from across the table.

“Naïve? What’s that?” she almost yells back. I bring my mug close to my mouth and blow away some steam.

“Naïve…” My father waves his hand around. “It’s someone who’s innocent and stupid.”

I almost spit out my coffee into the mug while trying to stifle a laugh.

What?” My mother gives me the evil eye. “You like to make fun of your mother, don’t you?” She points at me and at my father with her index finger.

“No, I’m not.”

“Then what?!”

“I’m actually surprised dad got the term naïve right. He usually uses the wrong word to try and describe something.” And, it’s true.

My father has a bad habit of describing certain people, places, or things while using the wrong words. He still doesn’t know what ironic means, even after having me teach him several times and using it in context (and in several languages). When he runs off to pick up a dictionary to prove me wrong, he gets peeved because he realizes I’m right all along. Afterwards, he uses the excuse that he shouldn’t know what certain words mean because he didn’t get to go to University like I did (which doesn’t make any sense because I still look in the dictionary to verify words I’m not sure of – unlike him).

Hmmm... I wonder if he looked up naïve in the dictionary before leaving the house.


Blogger Steven said...

Ooh, and it's my dad's birthday today. Woo hoo!

January 17, 2008 12:58 am  
Blogger Dop said...

I'm still trying to break my mother of the habit of referring to Asians as "Orientals". Rugs and vases, Mom -- not people.

January 17, 2008 1:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Can't blame your dad for trying...Most people don't try at all. The gift of "a book of words" is something he might appreciate for his birthday.


January 17, 2008 10:20 am  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

Tim Hortons. You're SO Ontario!!! :)

January 17, 2008 11:32 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

GO DAD! Use 'em wrong. Make us all giggle. (We've probably all been guilty of it.) I've got a friend that regularly uses words just like he knows exactly what they mean...spoken with all of the confidence in the world. Except that they're not the right word....and sometimes, they're not even a word at all.

January 17, 2008 12:12 pm  
Blogger Eric said...

So what does he think ironic means? Does he think it's like rain on your wedding day? 'cause, yeah, that's irony. :-)

January 17, 2008 8:24 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

Tell your dad, Archie Bunker, I said happy birthday!

January 17, 2008 9:35 pm  

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