I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Where there's a will, there's a way

While having coffee with my parents, the conversation inevitably rolls around to the topic of death. They talk about it often, especially when they're able to feel 70 tapping on their shoulder with an arthritic finger.

They mention their wills and wonder if they’re updated. While they’re rambling on about horror stories of people not writing down their underground intentions, I realize that I don’t have a will. Fuck, I don’t even have a couple of words written down on a dirty napkin.

So, since my birthday is in two days, I think the best gift I can give myself (that I can afford, of course) is a will. In it, I plan to write down what I won’t be giving to whom.

Basically, my tens of dollars will be going to charity and not to anyone else. My family and friends already have money; they don't need any more. Like that, those who really deserve it will finally be able to do good with those measly funds instead of using it to buy things for themselves.

It’s like guaranteeing eternal joy. Schadenfreude for the soul. Why should they be happy that I'm dead? I sure as hell won't be.

5 Comments:

Blogger Greg said...

Sheesh!
From talking about your 25th birthday as if its the end of the world, to morbidly talking about death!

As for a will, lol, for me its not like I have tons of money just floating out of my ass (would sure make it easier to get dates though). I've got a couple of life insurance policies through my various attempts at that "work" thing, so "they" should be ok. And its not like I have little rugrats depending on me.

You are NOT going to stop me from continually wishing you a Happy Birthday, Steve! lol

January 08, 2008 10:19 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

i have a living will.

January 08, 2008 10:33 am  
Blogger Paul said...

Well at least you aren't leaving your $10 to be inherited by your beloved pet that has no idea of what to do with all that cash! Look on the bright side....your $10 in Canada is worth more than my $10 here in the states ;) So technically your richer than me!

Oh BTW....Happy Birthday! Hope someone's gonna spank you.

January 08, 2008 1:29 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

I hate when people talk of wills and death. I can't handle it. My boyfriend does this and I'm thinking, "Can't we just go get brunch?"

January 08, 2008 7:17 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

will you leave me your porn collection?

January 09, 2008 9:21 am  

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