I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I'm not picky, I'll drink just about anything

The event is running smoothly, but I'm running frantic. I have to greet several celebrities and I always feel strange around them. It's not because they're famous, it's because I'm not really good at schmoozing and small talk.

When a couple of celebs from a well-watched television show arrive, my co-worker calls me to go to the entrance and greet them, as per my instructions for her. Both of them look just like they do on television, only they're (miraculously) taller then what I originally thought. They're also wearing a bit of makeup. Sadly, they're men.

After introducing myself, I tell them about the itinerary and chat for a few seconds. When one of them brings up how he's been to several wine tastings around the world, I nod and smile, like one is supposed to do.

"I'm an alcoholic, so I'm not picky," I say. "I'll drink just about anything."

They look at me and laugh out loud.

Oh, my fucking God. Did I just say that? Out loud? To guests? Who happen to be celebrities?

"Please don't tell that to the organizers. They might get the wrong idea." I put my hand over my heart. "So, anyway..." I wave my arm outwards, "please enjoy the event. If you have any questions, let me know."

As they walk into the crowd, I exhale deeply and think to myself, I might not be good at schoozing and small talk, but I can feign indifference and make a segueway like a seasoned politician.

Fuck, I need a drink right now.


Blogger Lewis said...

hey hey, now....be careful who you say that too....and what's on the drink menu.

June 20, 2008 10:07 am  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay! said...

Good one!

June 20, 2008 11:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Way too funny!

I am surprised they didn't invite you out for drinks afterwards.

June 20, 2008 3:15 pm  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

That was really funny... well unless you were not joking and now I just feel so wrong for laughing, I'll be quiet now.

June 20, 2008 6:18 pm  
Blogger about a boy said...


June 23, 2008 3:49 pm  
Blogger Kai Santorino said...

slow down on the drinks man.. ehehhe

nice site by the way


June 29, 2008 7:28 am  

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