To the creepy old letch on the train
Hey.
You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I think I know you pretty well. You ride the same train as I do every morning and either sit beside, behind, or diagonally across from me on our way to work.
To cut to the chase, I think you’re a creepy old letch because you hit on every young woman who rides the train. I don’t think of you this way because of your actions, but how you do them.
You start off complimenting them on something (their hair, their clothes, their jewellery), then bring it back to your wife and how you know what beautiful hair/clothes/jewellery looks like because of her.
I also find it funny how when she calls, you’re going through a ‘black out’ area, yet when someone from work is on the phone, there’s never any problem. Interesting.
Now, I don’t mind the atrocious attempts at flirting - the women you’re hitting on know you’ll never get a chance with them because you sound like Ben Stein and look like Jeffrey Tambor, circa George Bluth Sr. on Arrested Development.
Oh yeah, you have seen me give you the evil eye. You deserve it. You’re disgusting and, to be frank (because why should I stop now?), you’re repulsive. I don’t care if you don’t like me, because I don’t like you.
So do me a favour: Go back to your wife and tell her that her hair/clothes/jewellery reminds you of the women you hit on while sitting on the train. I’m pretty sure she’ll think you’re just a creepy old letch like I do.
Best,
Steven.
You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I think I know you pretty well. You ride the same train as I do every morning and either sit beside, behind, or diagonally across from me on our way to work.
To cut to the chase, I think you’re a creepy old letch because you hit on every young woman who rides the train. I don’t think of you this way because of your actions, but how you do them.
You start off complimenting them on something (their hair, their clothes, their jewellery), then bring it back to your wife and how you know what beautiful hair/clothes/jewellery looks like because of her.
I also find it funny how when she calls, you’re going through a ‘black out’ area, yet when someone from work is on the phone, there’s never any problem. Interesting.
Now, I don’t mind the atrocious attempts at flirting - the women you’re hitting on know you’ll never get a chance with them because you sound like Ben Stein and look like Jeffrey Tambor, circa George Bluth Sr. on Arrested Development.
Oh yeah, you have seen me give you the evil eye. You deserve it. You’re disgusting and, to be frank (because why should I stop now?), you’re repulsive. I don’t care if you don’t like me, because I don’t like you.
So do me a favour: Go back to your wife and tell her that her hair/clothes/jewellery reminds you of the women you hit on while sitting on the train. I’m pretty sure she’ll think you’re just a creepy old letch like I do.
Best,
Steven.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
3 Comments:
Goodness me - almost vitriolic! On the part of the letch, why do you think he is like that? What insecurity is it that makes him like that? Maybe flirting is just in his DNA? Or perhaps there is something about him that you have left out?
Either way, if there is nothing else you can do about it, I would change coaches, and chill out during the trip to work - life is hard enough; no point in making it harder for yourself!
G =]
I hate creepy old men....specially ones that hit on me....and have a wife and kids...GRRRRR
i need to hire u to write some letters for me!!!
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