I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Guess who's back on the market?

Even though J claimed he wanted to have space and didn’t want to date anyone for the next year, or so (due to my oppressive nature, apparently), it came as a huge surprise when I happen to see a profile on the same dating site that I am a member of.

When I first click on the tiny image, I am taken aback and my stomach turns. I can’t believe it. Guess who’s back on the market? Fucker. As it turns out, J doesn’t know what he wants (why do you need space if you want to date other people?), especially since I was told by J that I couldn’t date for the next year because it wouldn’t be fair for the both of us.

Besides the very obvious bitchslap swipe against my profile and pictures, there are a few pieces of shit that are strewn across J’s profile (namely, one that doesn’t mention a lack of mental stability and a growing concern for an acute case of being a sociopath).

The worst thing that insulted me was the description under body type: thin.

Since when does having a 34” waist (not to metion a beer gut and love handles you just want to hate) considered thin? If that’s thin, I’m skeletal. Seriously. A 28” waist must be the beginning of a serious eating disorder.

So, I do what I do in times of distress: I send the link to all the people who would like to see J hurt/dead and/or both. Their snarky replies brought a smile to my face, even though the profile didn't.

10 Comments:

Blogger TED said...

Thank God at least you're not bitter.

June 02, 2009 12:23 am  
Blogger JUSTIN said...

We're kind of alike...when I get pissed of I get sarcastic; hang in there bud!

June 02, 2009 2:14 am  
Blogger TFG said...

I'd say size was a matter of perspective.

If someone was 5'6" tall, a 34" waist would not be considered thin, but if they were over 6' 2" tall, it might be.

I'm surprised your relationship lasted as long as it did, given these biases... were you equally repulsed when you were fucking him?

June 02, 2009 7:35 am  
Blogger Billy said...

Oh man, wait till you see the wedding invitation. :)

Seriously friend, I hope you are ok!

June 02, 2009 9:29 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

at least you're moving on, not re-hashing the past. good to see!

and 28" waist? that's like a 14 year old...

geez...

June 02, 2009 9:58 am  
Blogger Brand New W said...

ooh can i see the link!?

June 02, 2009 11:24 am  
Blogger Ian J Brooks said...

I wanna see that link!

I have to ask. Did you really expect him not to date for a whole year. Thats a tad unrealistic..

Also he may have thought at the time that he could'nt date for a long time but things change!

June 02, 2009 6:07 pm  
Blogger Marquis said...

Wow! glad I didn't cross you at any point. I just went through the same thing a month of so ago. Why can't they just be honest?

June 06, 2009 8:56 am  
Anonymous jean genet said...

Well at least you are honest. But you sound like someone best avoided. I'd love to hear J's side of the story.

June 07, 2009 2:53 pm  
Blogger Craig said...

J sucks. I'm a 34" waist and I check off "average". I think that's fair.

June 10, 2009 1:11 pm  

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