P's dating profile

It’s late in the day and I’m checking my dating profile. I flick through my inbox and the new members who joined recently. There’s a profile I don’t recognize. I click on it and look at the photo.

It’s P. One of Crazy’s best friends. The same P who always talked badly about me behind my back but never had the balls to talk smack to my face. Of course, confronting that bitch (which I did) made his tail tuck between his legs.

As I skim through the profile, I get a few giggles and eyerolls thrown in for good measure. Since I know P, I know this profile is a load of crap. To paraphrase, P is a nice guy who is laid back, funny, smart and interesting, who wants a nice guy he can show his parents. Right. The real P is a shallow, narcissistic, drunk/druggie, who only wants the best, and sacrifices nothing. Yet he’s no prize pig.

Oh, and he looks like a muppet and claims to have a ‘slim’ body type, when it’s really average (slim people don’t have love handles and mini spare tires).

Good luck to the idiot who ends up with him. Maybe that’s why he’s friends with Crazy: they’re both just as delusional as the other.