I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Numbers game

Mathematics is the only language that means the same thing in every part of the world. One plus one will always equal two, no matter where it’s calculated.

The only time where numbers mean something else is when they’re equated with appearance – specifically height and weight.

People add a few inches to their height, thinking that taller people have it better than others. Of course, when they stand next to a tall person, it doesn’t matter if they claim to be 5 foot 7 (paging, Mr. Cruise), or 5 foot 10 (even with lifts, strategic supporting actor placement, and miniature staff, you’ll never convince anyone, Tom).

Yet, people will remove a couple of pounds when they’re talking about their weight. They claim to be a healthy 120, but you know the last time they hit that weight, they were still in grade school, having a bout of the stomach flu, while eating laxatives as meal replacements.

Why not be truthful for both?

Personally, I have always stated my real height and weight whenever someone asks, yet I always get different reactions for these numbers.

Compared to my ethnic brethern, I stand taller than them, even though people have called me short. At a lean 140 pounds, my body looks like a well-cut piece of brisket, but people have told me I’m bony, while others have discreetly mentioned I’m fat.

Too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat.

Fuck. Why did I ever take math?

It seems that I’m either too much of one, or not enough of the other. I can’t win at this numbers game! And, what’s really strange is that I’m not even playing.

3 Comments:

Blogger Kevin said...

You are what you are, and if you're happy with it ... fuck everyone else.

August 07, 2006 8:35 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Here here six.

My mother told me I looked like a drug addict a couple of years ago when I complained about being searched at customs. That sure didn't feel good, lol.

August 07, 2006 10:18 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Six: Yes, I don't spend sleepless nights thinking about it.

Torn: I was searched at customs for a totally different reason (which I'll write about very soon).

August 07, 2006 10:27 am  

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