I'm so happy for you, but I'm really not
Every so often, I go online to check out what has been going on in the lives of people I know. Quite often, they disappear from the radar and the Internet is the only way to know if they're still alive.
When the name of an asshole is typed in the Google search engine, I wait for the results to appear. If the number of hits is low, a smile comes across my face. Not many. That’s good. While perusing through the links, I notice that they haven’t done anything, or have had much success.
Unless they have.
Then, I get pissed, especially when they don't deserve to be successful.
A few of the links have contact information. Maybe I'll be polite and send them a note and congratulate them on their success. But, fuck politeness. I know what these people did to get where they are. They have no empathy, no affect. They managed to do stab others in the back without breaking a sweat.
Although the big thing to do is to put aside any unresolved feelings of bitterness due to their littleness, that won't happen. I can't fake sincerity. You can practically see sparks being produced when my teeth are clenched into something resembling a smile.
They won't receive a note saying I'm so happy for you! from me, because I'm really not.
When the name of an asshole is typed in the Google search engine, I wait for the results to appear. If the number of hits is low, a smile comes across my face. Not many. That’s good. While perusing through the links, I notice that they haven’t done anything, or have had much success.
Unless they have.
Then, I get pissed, especially when they don't deserve to be successful.
A few of the links have contact information. Maybe I'll be polite and send them a note and congratulate them on their success. But, fuck politeness. I know what these people did to get where they are. They have no empathy, no affect. They managed to do stab others in the back without breaking a sweat.
Although the big thing to do is to put aside any unresolved feelings of bitterness due to their littleness, that won't happen. I can't fake sincerity. You can practically see sparks being produced when my teeth are clenched into something resembling a smile.
They won't receive a note saying I'm so happy for you! from me, because I'm really not.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
6 Comments:
I recall being at a large gathering of my peers in my former career. We all knew each other well. On occasion someone would get kudos for something he/she had supposedly done and it was the custom to stand and applaud. There were more than a few times that I knew the person and I knew that the accomplishment was not theirs or that they had walked all over others to achieve it. I sat in silence as others stood and cheered. I was marked for it, but I could not do otherwise.
Bitter, party of one....your table is now available.
;-)
I do this too. I thought I was strange, but I think I am just normal.
Stop googling me if you don't want to know how great I am. :)
im here with you.
Before the rise of the search engine, this used to only happen once a month--with the arrival of the alumni association magazine.
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