Complimentary compliments

Whenever someone is about to throw a sucker punch, your body reacts in a manner that is reactive, especially if the hit is out of the blue. The eyes close, the mouth tightens, the head turns and the body pulls back.

My body reacts the same way when someone gives me a compliment. It makes me cringe on the inside and visibly wince on the outside.

I have never been one to take compliments well. I know what and when I do well. If someone tells me I didn’t fuck up, then I know I did a good job. Compliments about my appearance are even worse. I know when I look presentable, and when I don’t. I own a mirror, and my mirror doesn’t lie (unlike people).

Compliments are supposed to make you feel good, but they don’t have the same effect on me. It may sound twisted, but from my experience, it makes perfect sense because compliments always mean something else.

When I was young, I used to tell my mom she was pretty when I wanted something. It didn’t always work when she was walking around in her nightshirt with her bedhead, but it was worth a try. Unfortunately, my mother could always see through the crap and didn’t like the smell of it.

She knew there was another motive behind my words. And, in turn, she taught me the same thing. Plain and simple.

Now, I am aware and my crap-o-meter is always on high alert, verifying whether there’s a stench in the air. When I wince, I’ll know the reason why is because someone sucker-punched me with a compliment.