Young at fart

After running around in circles, trying to catch my niece, I stop and take a breather. She’s tiring me out. As she pulls on my arm, pleading for me to chase her, I tell her that I need a little break.

While pausing for relief, I crouch down, bend my legs and accidentally fart. Like all of my farts, it’s a silent one that only dogs can hear.

In a matter of seconds, my niece looks at me, scrunches her face, pinches her nose and says, “Ewww… stinky.”

Forgetting that I passed gas, I ask her if she smells anything.

“Poo,” she says, still pinching her nose.

“You have to go poo?” I ask.

She doesn’t reply.

“You have to go poo?” I ask again, nodding my head in agreement.

She grabs my hand and leads me to the loo. I quickly run after her. When we get to the loo, I start to pull off her pants in a hurry. She stops me and pulls them back up.

“No, Uncle.”

“But, you can’t go poo in your underwear. Let Uncle help you take off your shorts.” I tug on her shorts, again.

“No, Uncle. You.” She points at me while still pinching her nose.

“Me? What about me? Don’t you have to go poo?” I’m a little agitated. She enjoys playing this game of poo vs. no poo, just like the game of pee vs. no pee.

“No, Uncle. You go poo!” She begins to tug at my shorts.

“Uncle doesn’t have to go poo.”

“Yes, Uncle. You have to go poo. You stink!”

Oh dear God, she must’ve smelled it, I think. What’s worse is she thought I was shitting myself just like she used to, not too long ago.

“No, Uncle doesn’t have to go poo. Uncle just farted.”

“Oh, ok.” She looks relieved and unplugs her nose.

We both run back to the spare room and begin to chase one another, again. Lucky for me, my niece is both understanding and young at fart.