I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Young at fart

After running around in circles, trying to catch my niece, I stop and take a breather. She’s tiring me out. As she pulls on my arm, pleading for me to chase her, I tell her that I need a little break.

While pausing for relief, I crouch down, bend my legs and accidentally fart. Like all of my farts, it’s a silent one that only dogs can hear.

In a matter of seconds, my niece looks at me, scrunches her face, pinches her nose and says, “Ewww… stinky.”

Forgetting that I passed gas, I ask her if she smells anything.

“Poo,” she says, still pinching her nose.

“You have to go poo?” I ask.

She doesn’t reply.

“You have to go poo?” I ask again, nodding my head in agreement.

She grabs my hand and leads me to the loo. I quickly run after her. When we get to the loo, I start to pull off her pants in a hurry. She stops me and pulls them back up.

“No, Uncle.”

“But, you can’t go poo in your underwear. Let Uncle help you take off your shorts.” I tug on her shorts, again.

“No, Uncle. You.” She points at me while still pinching her nose.

“Me? What about me? Don’t you have to go poo?” I’m a little agitated. She enjoys playing this game of poo vs. no poo, just like the game of pee vs. no pee.

“No, Uncle. You go poo!” She begins to tug at my shorts.

“Uncle doesn’t have to go poo.”

“Yes, Uncle. You have to go poo. You stink!”

Oh dear God, she must’ve smelled it, I think. What’s worse is she thought I was shitting myself just like she used to, not too long ago.

“No, Uncle doesn’t have to go poo. Uncle just farted.”

“Oh, ok.” She looks relieved and unplugs her nose.

We both run back to the spare room and begin to chase one another, again. Lucky for me, my niece is both understanding and young at fart.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg... are you sure you don't hang around with my brother?

August 17, 2007 1:24 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

But I thought you told me your farts smelled like roses ; )

August 17, 2007 6:43 am  
Blogger Eric said...

I'm so disturbed, if only because this means my poor niece is in for it from my brother, the king of the SBD.

August 17, 2007 8:26 am  
Blogger BRETTCAJUN said...

Oh... my God... I don't think I have ever broached the subject of "Farting" on my blog. Ha Ha.

August 17, 2007 9:12 am  
Blogger Silly Billy said...

WOW. What a lucky girl she is.

August 17, 2007 9:49 am  
Blogger RomanHans said...

Poo or No Poo: Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. I see primetime on ABC. I see Roseanne as host. I see much smaller briefcases.

August 17, 2007 10:12 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

gross. i did think i smelled something when you were in town.

August 17, 2007 10:46 am  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay said...

That's funny.
My neice thinks everyone has a penis. Even girls. She calls her hoo hoo a penis.

Oh, well.

August 17, 2007 2:48 pm  
Blogger Sh@ney said...

LOL...One day we will take note that although they may be young, they never stop learning. It hard sometimes to talk to an adult & be mindful of what & how you say things. It can make a juicy story sound like a dry bone!
Stop eating broccoli! :P

August 17, 2007 6:54 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

Did you say SHART?

August 18, 2007 5:40 pm  
Blogger alexsander said...

haha cute story

August 18, 2007 9:12 pm  
Blogger Glenn said...

That is just too funny.

August 19, 2007 10:06 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

cute? funny? ewww, I say! I join the grossed crowd. some things should not be blogged

August 20, 2007 9:36 am  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

Ha! I'm glad you straightened our your misunderstanding before she tugged off your pants - that would have been awkward.

August 21, 2007 2:55 pm  

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