Stretch marks the spot

Pregnancy can be a bitch. Not only is there the issue with the weight gain, the nausea, the cravings, and the bloating, but after the child is born, there are stretch marks.

Sadly, you don’t need to give birth to a baby to have them.

Whether it was due to a growth spurt, or a fat period, I have stretch marks. Large ones. They line my lower back like cracks in the Grand Canyon. There are several that go from one side of my pelvic bone to the other, and there are also a few on my thighs, which is strange since I’ve never had skinny legs.

They don’t particularly bother me, but they’re really noticeable. Because of the colour of my skin, they stand out like a white bathing suit on an over-the-hill Miami matriarch who spends too much time by the pool without a stitch of sunscreen (or clothing). It’s times like these I wish I didn't have cocoa-tinged skin.

Stretch marks can’t be removed, no matter what cosmetics companies, cosmetic surgeons, and dermatologists tell you. They’re like constant reminders of a period in your life.

Maybe it’s a good thing the stretch marks (like the period in my life) are behind me. The wrinkles on my face, on the other hand, are a little harder to ignore.