I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Burning off the buzz

After a night and/or afternoon and/or morning of drinking, sometimes the best way to feel better (and less bloated) is to burn off those extra calories by doing some sort of exercise.

It doesn’t always work out that way, though.

I can’t run because I already “drunk walk” when I’m sober, so you can imagine how I run when I’m buzzed.

I can’t do crunches because they make me want to puke from flexing and releasing my abdominal muscles.

I can’t do push ups because I can barely do them when I haven’t had a thing to drink.

I can’t do squats because the position reminds me something that I should be doing but can’t, so I end up in a fit of giggles.

I can’t do lunges because the forward motion makes me want to outwardly projectile whatever is left in my stomach.

In the end, I can’t do much (if not anything).

Maybe it’s better to vomit and get it over with.

3 Comments:

Blogger Lewis said...

There is nothing more repulsive than exercise. I'd vomit too. Unless I'm perched on a bar stool watching other cute boys do it. Exercise, that is.

July 30, 2007 11:59 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

i've never been one to use the pre-emptive vomit technique, but i know a few who use that quite regularly - and swear its how they avoid massive hangovers.

i, on the otherhand, prefer the gatorade and advil approach - and of course, lying in a swirling bed - or in some cases a veryy still bed in a swirling room.

July 31, 2007 7:24 am  
Blogger Chris said...

Just reading this I want to puke, because it reminds me of the first time I threw up from drinking too much. At 33 (yes, it took that long)

Just ride it out. Maybe get something to eat, like a burger.

July 31, 2007 1:50 pm  

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