I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Coke and bulemia

Whenever someone asks me what my secret is to keeping weight off, I tell them in three words: coke and bulimia.

For those who know me, know I’m kidding. For those who don’t know me, think I’m serious because I say this “secret” with a straight face, and flat, unaffected tone of voice.

In all honesty, I have never done cocaine. The strongest drug I’ve ever done was heroin, but I stopped because it was an incredibly expensive habit and I couldn’t continue being a call boy to pay for it because it took away from my other addictions that I had to support.

Bulemia just got messy, and I just don't have the time to be constantly cleaning up after myself. And, the dry cleaning bills were beyond.

But, the C&B answer is incredibly insensitive to those afflicted. There are family and friends I know who have been through drug addiction as well as eating disorders. What was initially intended as a joke, now seems cruel. I never wanted to make them feel bad, or worse, for what they’ve gone and are currently going through.

So, that joke isn’t said anymore.

Now, I have to say my “secret” to weight loss is a healthy diet and moderate exercise, but that sounds so boring.

Then again, I could always I starve myself.

Note: And, I have never done drugs. That was a joke.

7 Comments:

Blogger Random Thinker said...

i thought it was the diet coke diet... but i caught on near the end....

July 23, 2007 11:32 pm  
Blogger Salem said...

^ There's no good reason to have it with rum.

July 24, 2007 8:24 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

Healthy diet and moderate exercise? What in the hell fun is that? And you had us going there for a minute.

July 24, 2007 10:29 am  
Blogger Steven said...

RT: No one ever thinks I'm talking about the drink.

July 24, 2007 10:51 am  
Blogger St. Dickeybird said...

Whenever someone talks to my sweet, old, religious mother about drugs, she always tells them that she used to snort coke.
After their heart attack shock, she occasionally adds that the bubbles tickled her nose...

July 24, 2007 12:32 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

I thought you had a tape worm, lucky bastard ...

July 26, 2007 9:19 am  
Blogger Chris said...

Don't you hate having to "censor" your own jokes because people are so damn sensitive? They should be killed.

Kidding!
Not.

July 27, 2007 10:58 am  

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