Coke and bulemia

Whenever someone asks me what my secret is to keeping weight off, I tell them in three words: coke and bulimia.

For those who know me, know I’m kidding. For those who don’t know me, think I’m serious because I say this “secret” with a straight face, and flat, unaffected tone of voice.

In all honesty, I have never done cocaine. The strongest drug I’ve ever done was heroin, but I stopped because it was an incredibly expensive habit and I couldn’t continue being a call boy to pay for it because it took away from my other addictions that I had to support.

Bulemia just got messy, and I just don't have the time to be constantly cleaning up after myself. And, the dry cleaning bills were beyond.

But, the C&B answer is incredibly insensitive to those afflicted. There are family and friends I know who have been through drug addiction as well as eating disorders. What was initially intended as a joke, now seems cruel. I never wanted to make them feel bad, or worse, for what they’ve gone and are currently going through.

So, that joke isn’t said anymore.

Now, I have to say my “secret” to weight loss is a healthy diet and moderate exercise, but that sounds so boring.

Then again, I could always I starve myself.

Note: And, I have never done drugs. That was a joke.