I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Couscous boo boo

Being someone who enjoys experimenting with culinary creations, I have decided to skip the pasta and potatoes and try something a little different as a side dish to my protein plate: couscous.

After searching for it in several supermarkets, I finally find a small package.

Doesn’t look like it will go far, by the size of it, I think. It better be worth it.

The two steps say I am supposed to add equal amounts of couscous to warm water and let it sit for five minutes. That’s it? I call my sister for directions because those on the package don’t make any sense. She tells me I have to boil the water and season it (salt, butter, etc.), add the couscous, then let it sit for five minutes, covered. When the five minutes are up, fluff it up with a fork.

Sounds easy enough.

When the water boils, I pour the couscous into a measuring cup. It doesn’t look like a lot. So, I add another cup of water to the pot to double the mixture, and correspond it with another cup of couscous.

What happens next shouldn’t surprise anyone.

The five minutes are up and I remove the lid off the pot. Ho. Lee. Fuck. It resembles a comical vision of a pot overflowing with couscous. There is enough to last me for six months. It may taste great (I do know my way around the kitchen), but no one ever told me this stuff multiples a zillion-fold.

What the fuck am I going to do with all this food? If I eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner (and with the occasional midday snack), give it to friends, donate it to food kitchens, throw it to the birds, and make a monument dedicated to semolina, I’ll still have enough for another five months.

Does anyone want some? Anyone? There’s plenty to go around…


Blogger Spamouflage said...

Couscous is yummy and yes, it makes a gazillion pound from a table spoon.

August 14, 2007 12:01 am  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay said...

Try using a vegetable or chicken stock in place of some of the water. It gives it a lot more flavour! Yummy!

August 14, 2007 12:29 am  
Blogger Daniel said...

I enjoy experimenting in the kitchen also. I want to see the tribute to Semolina when you get it done. Sounds like its time for any impromptu office luncheon.

August 14, 2007 12:57 am  
Blogger Sunshine said...

A potentially better way of doing it is use a soup mix, dissolve it in water, wait till it boils, turn off the heat, then stir in half a cup of cous cous at a time. As you are stirring, it should expand. You can continually add half a cup of cous cous and control how moist or dry you want the end product to be. I eat a fair bit of the stuff because it takes no time and is very yummy. :)

August 14, 2007 4:22 am  
Blogger Kelly said...

Couscous is great!! And if you make too much (that is what happens to us on occassion)... just grill some chicken, mix in veggies... spice it up... and it last forever in the fridge after you cook it...

August 14, 2007 7:07 am  
Blogger RomanHans said...

Couscous is like sea monkeys. You add water, stir, and experience the magic. Then you sit there for the next month thinking "What the f*** am I going to do with this?"

August 14, 2007 10:29 am  
Blogger Chris said...

Are you the reincarnation of Lucille Ball?

August 14, 2007 12:34 pm  
Blogger Mitzzee said...

now that's funny.

donate to the foodbanks.

August 14, 2007 3:14 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

Cheeky. Always trying to get someone to eat your cous ... cous.

August 14, 2007 3:35 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

I don't know. Can you freeze some portions?

"make a monument dedicated to semolina" -- LOL

August 14, 2007 8:49 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

i think you've stumbled on the cure to world hunger...

or you're the second coming of christ and instead of multiplying fish and loaves, you're the cous cous jesus. and if that's the case, remember to put a good word in for me with the big guy!

August 16, 2007 8:12 am  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

You're like my Mom:
Mom: "This recipe didn't turn out. I wonder why?"
Me: "Did you follow the recipe?"
Mom: "Well actually..."

August 21, 2007 2:55 pm  

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