I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Discarded

There are some people who believe only the latest is the greatest and what’s old should be sold. But, there are others who know that antiques are usually more valuable than what just came out of the factory.

Personally, I believe that everything has its purpose – new or old – and only when it’s broken should it be discarded. Then again, I’m talking about inanimate objects, not people.

**

A few days ago, my grandmother had a health-related crisis and no one knew about until they found her body on the floor, her skin shades of blues and purples. No one knew how long she was there and how she got there.

When I heard the news, I got angry instead of concerned.

The reason for my rage was because there was no one around. Her son, daughter-in-law, and their two sons didn’t check up on her even though they live a courtyard away. All they have to do is walk across the gravel path between their homes and knock on the door. But, they don’t. In fact, there are days when they don’t even see her. For all they know, she could’ve been on the floor for days.

Is this how family looks after their elders?

Normally, my family can’t take care of things because they live an ocean away. On this occasion, my father is there (on vacation), taking orders from my mother (who is in Canada), and telling them what to do. If it wasn’t for them, progression would be futile.

Even though my mother has her – many – faults, she would travel around the world to get to a family member who needs help. She’s done it before and she’ll do it again. My father, realizing my mother is calmer under pressure, allows her to run the show.

Yet, I still simmer, like a pot that’s about to boil over.

An elderly woman has a serious ailment and there’s no one there to look after her. She’s not young, yet we all age. Her movement is slow, but her mind is still sharp. Her health is ailing, but she has spirit. She’s still alive and she’s a part of this world. And, I hope that the rest of her family understand that.

For these past several days, the only thing I’m thinking about is I don’t want anyone forgetting about me when I get old, discarding me like I’m broken. I don’t want anyone to find my body, lying on the floor, after being there for an unknown number of days, wondering what happened.

I’d rather die.

8 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

I'm so sorry. That's my worst fear right there. I hope she's at peace and didn't suffer. :(

September 05, 2007 9:56 am  
Blogger S said...

Chris: Sorry if I gave the impression that she's passed (she's alive and in the hospital).

September 05, 2007 10:00 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is the sad state of cultures that worship the new, the latest and the young like idols in some incensed grotto with chanting parishioners. Notice how babies are bandied about like the be all end all of life itself, while their granny sits alone in an upstairs attic. Shameful, fucking shameful. Some of my best friends are in their 70's and 80's. Trashy just like me...er...and you!
Hugs and kisses about your softest and pinkest of parts.
kb

September 05, 2007 10:02 am  
Blogger Rebel Yankee said...

oh my gosh. I hope she's going ot be ok.
My aunt lived a literal 20 feet from my grandmother and, thankfully, she or one of her two children were over there daily to check up on my grandmother, so they were able to find her when she had finally gotten ill enough to need a hospital/nursing home care.

September 05, 2007 11:17 am  
Blogger A Lewis said...

You know I'm thinking of you, you can count on that. And how horrible that our lives come to that. Alone, no help. I think that every family has someone who take the lead and does the miraculous. And there are others who don't do jack shit. Thank god that you and I are the leaders, the trend setters, the ones who care. Very difficult, it is, to have expectations of others that go unmet.

September 05, 2007 11:56 am  
Blogger Chris said...

I guess it was the "shades of blues and purples" that convinced me.

Well, I hope she gets better soon. Maybe this is the wake up call those people needed to realize that they need to follow up on her.

September 05, 2007 12:04 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

I totally understand your anger...we kinda went thru something very similar with my Grandma & my Aunt who was supposed to be her caretaker...Oh, I hope she's doing ok now.

September 05, 2007 12:37 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can well understand what you are feeling, I have seen it far too often that the older (not old) are treated so badly.

I can say that I was my mothers care giver for some 4 years before she had a massive stroke at home, my sister was there at the time and called me and I was there in 5mins having dressed and driven there in that time. I was at the hospitals every day some times 3 hours some days 12+ hours my sister and I allways made sure one of us was there to help feed our mother.

I hope that your grandmother gets the help and attention she so rightly deserves. All parents and grandparents are in my opinion deserving of attention.

I hope that your grandmother is going ok now.

September 06, 2007 11:42 am  

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