I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007


Throughout the years, I've been called every name in the book. Sometimes they're bad, while other times they're worse. Quite often, these descriptions are wrong, and hardly ever right.

On a recent phone call with C, I'm told something I haven't heard before.

"You're so aloof. I ask you questions, and you just brush them off," says C.

What the fuck is that? If you've ever speak to me on the phone, or in person, aloof isn't the first descriptive term that pops into your head. Annoying, yes. Irritating, yes. Impatient, yes. Aloof, no.

The only way I can reply to C's two sentences is by controlling my growing defensiveness.

"To start off," I say, "I have answered all of your questions. Whenever you ask me something, I answer it. I haven't lied. I always told the truth."

For the next five minutes, I go over a list of things that I talked about. It sounds like I'm living through an episode of This Is Your Life, only I'm the mystery voice behind the curtain, doing all the talking.

Inevitably, my tone goes from the comforting Tyra Banks of her eponymous talk show to the finger-waving, head-snapping, ghetto host of America's Next Top Model. The only thing I'm missing is big boobs, false eyelashes, and a hair weave.

If C wants to talk about aloof, C should watch it. Whenever I ask C things, I have to tread lightly, like I'm walking on eggshells because every repsonse is answered with it's private and I don't want to answer that.

After making my case and talking the pussy down from the big, old oak tree, we make plans to meet up on Tuesday night. Hopefully, the conversation is forgotten by then.


On Tuesday night, C ditched me.

Note: This post is brought to you by WTF Wednesdays.


Blogger Random Thinker said...

Is it really that bad? I mean someone who thinks you're aloof, and then comes out and says it... well, good riddance to him.

I bet he wears camo...

October 03, 2007 9:30 am  
Blogger Lewis said...

Annoying, irritating and impatient? I don't remember it quite that way. I thought you were on your very best behavior...maybe it's because it was our first date.

October 03, 2007 9:44 am  
Blogger Naijadude said...

Aloof? Well that shouldnt be coming from someone that gets defensive at personal questions...

You got ditched? ouch!!! Go read some sappy fictional novel to get over it

October 03, 2007 11:21 am  
Blogger Eric said...

Dude. Our conversaton was private. Why'd you put it up here on the blog?

October 03, 2007 12:45 pm  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

oh come on now, we all know that's a hair weave. :)

October 03, 2007 1:05 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

I wouldn't describe you as aloof. And someone saying "that's private" is pretty much the kiss of death for me. If you can't be open around your friends, what's the point?

October 03, 2007 2:43 pm  

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