I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Gardening attire

Whenever I'm outside mowing the lawn, I know I shouldn't wear much because I'll end up being coated in a sheen of sweat. There's no need for a tuxedo. It's always best to wear as little as possible. Normally, I throw on a t-shirt and jeans if it's cool, or a pair of shorts if it's hot. But, the problem isn't what I wear, it's how I wear it.

When I have on a pair of jeans, I don't wear a belt because it's not necessary that I accessorize. Since the waistline is loose, the jeans fall lower than they normally would and show my ass crack (I don't wear any underwear while mowing the lawn). When I have on a pair of shorts, I put on a show when I bend my knees (again, because of the underwear thing) while trimming the edges.

And, I really don't want to show off my goods if I'm not getting paid for it.

So, from now on, my only clothing option will consist of anything plus a pair of underwear. And, maybe a cummerbund.

12 Comments:

Blogger Tom said...

I find it quite hard to visualise what on earth you're talking about. Maybe a couple of illustrative photos would help! ;)

June 30, 2008 2:56 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

the cummerbund is a nice touch.

i mowed this weekend too! but i did it in shorts and sneakers sans shirt.

June 30, 2008 12:07 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

I wish you lived closer, my lawn needs cutting. And I'd pay!

June 30, 2008 1:01 pm  
Blogger Dop said...

Think I'm moving to your neighborhood

June 30, 2008 4:43 pm  
Blogger dit said...

Yes, I like the cummerbund idea. Tartan or solid?

June 30, 2008 5:29 pm  
Blogger Rusty said...

I wish my neighbor would wear a cummerbund. And a shirt. And pants. And shoes. And a hat.

Unlike you, there are some sights no one should ever see. My neighbor is one of them.

A house down the block is for sale and we've hit 100 degrees almost every day for the last few weeks...underwear may not make your cut of options down here.

June 30, 2008 9:48 pm  
Blogger Anthony said...

tighty whities. and some shorts... maybe shoes are all that are required.

June 30, 2008 10:40 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

BTW, it's Canada Day on July 1.

I'm off on holiday. Later.

July 01, 2008 12:06 am  
Blogger Tom said...

Hey Steven.... Happy Canada Day!

Just wanted you to know that I am back up to my old tricks over at "My New Life"...

Be well.... and Be GAY!

tOM

July 01, 2008 6:42 am  
Blogger Doghigh said...

*sigh*

I miss "trimming the edges"...

July 01, 2008 12:49 pm  
Blogger haliaeetusguys said...

When I had my own home back east in southwestern Ontario, I'd have loved a neighbour like you! Most were to conservative, so not much to see, if you know what I mean. Hope you had a great Canada Day! - Volker

July 07, 2008 12:48 am  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

You have such randomly arbitrary rules - "I don't wear underwear when I mow the lawn" and "We celebrate the 4th of July on July 1st" and stuff like that.

You should mow in a Speedo - then you'd be kept joyously cool but nothing would slide down if you bent over. Everyone wins!

July 08, 2008 1:45 pm  

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