Menostop

There are quite a few things that make no sense to me. Acid-washed, high-waisted, tapered jeans. Super-sizing your meal and ordering a diet Coke. Paris Hilton.

The term menopause is also on that list.

First off, why is a term that applies to women called menopause? Men aren't on the receiving end. And, if menopause deals with the halting of estrogen production (rendering women unable to reproduce naturally – the major sex-related difference between the genders) is it really a pause? Technically, shouldn’t it be a stop?

Womenostop?

Second, why is the male version of this called andropause? Andropause sounds like something that should be applied to androgynous people – like David Bowie during his Ziggy Stardust phase.

The term menostop isn’t applicable since men don’t stop being men due to the fact there is no halt in the production of testosterone (which allows them to be fertile until they die). This is one reason why rich old coots are verile enough to get married to women old enough to be their great, great, great granddaughters. They can still pass on their genes before they pass on.

But, shouldn’t men actually stop? Let them get sterile past a certain age. Allow the plumbing to work, but let the fluids run clean, not all cloudy like pre-Brita filtered water.

They shouldn’t be able to produce if women aren’t. Shouldn’t there be a sense of equality between the sexes, especially when you’re dealing with sex?

Who wants to be a 75-year-old parent to a newborn? You’ll miss so many firsts: birthday, steps, words, day of school, etc. And, I doubt children will be excited about going to the hospital to visit mommy and daddy when they’re hooked-up to a ventilator and drugged-out on pain killers.

Maybe that’s just me.

But, knowing my luck, I’ll end up having a litter of kids I never wanted, anyway…