The sexiest baby in the world
The news story heard around the world spread like the bird flu on crack. It wasn't about the war. It wasn't about the energy crisis. It wasn't even about anything relevant.
But, it was sexy.
The sexiest unofficial couple in the world announced they were officially becoming the sexiest parents in the world.
And, the world takes a collective sigh of disgust.
It's not fair.
Why should the sexy ones shack-up with each other? Shouldn't there be balance in the world? At least one of these two should be average-looking. Not too long ago, Brad was married to Jennifer Aniston (guess which one is the fugly one) and Angelina was married to Billy Bob Thorton (no guessing here).
If Brad had a kid with Jennifer Aniston, you know there would be a chance the kid would turn out a bit horse-faced like its mother (come on, look at the friggin' schnoz on her).
If Angelina had a kid with Billy Bob Thorton, you know there would be a chance the kid would come out covered in tattoos and smoking a cigarette (that would certainly cause some serious ooh-hoo burns during labour).
It won't matter, anyhow. This kid will only have one responsibility in life: to look hot. It doesn't need brains or talent since people don't care. Fuck, just look at its parents.
But, you never know.
God does have a twisted sense of humour. He can be a sick fuck, you know.
So, to the impending child, I say this: If you're not the sexiest baby in the world, your parents can always say you're adopted.
But, it was sexy.
The sexiest unofficial couple in the world announced they were officially becoming the sexiest parents in the world.
And, the world takes a collective sigh of disgust.
It's not fair.
Why should the sexy ones shack-up with each other? Shouldn't there be balance in the world? At least one of these two should be average-looking. Not too long ago, Brad was married to Jennifer Aniston (guess which one is the fugly one) and Angelina was married to Billy Bob Thorton (no guessing here).
If Brad had a kid with Jennifer Aniston, you know there would be a chance the kid would turn out a bit horse-faced like its mother (come on, look at the friggin' schnoz on her).
If Angelina had a kid with Billy Bob Thorton, you know there would be a chance the kid would come out covered in tattoos and smoking a cigarette (that would certainly cause some serious ooh-hoo burns during labour).
It won't matter, anyhow. This kid will only have one responsibility in life: to look hot. It doesn't need brains or talent since people don't care. Fuck, just look at its parents.
But, you never know.
God does have a twisted sense of humour. He can be a sick fuck, you know.
So, to the impending child, I say this: If you're not the sexiest baby in the world, your parents can always say you're adopted.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
4 Comments:
Sorry, she doesn't do a thing for me. And he ain't all that, either.
Hope the baby gets it's brains from Brad's ex wife. snoz and all.
And his talent from Angelina's Daddy. Sorry, but his um "method" was my introduction to "seeing" oral sex performed.
(Coming Home) You're a bit young, maybe.
As an aside...
Not too long ago, I had a touch of crazy b/c I couldn't find this post after publishing it.
Then I realized I accidentally deleted it when I was making a spelling correction.
Goddamn old age
Oh, Used Hack, to be right all the time...
Such a curse. Such a curse.
I'm telling you I've seen some scary "beautiful people's" kids. Look like a cross between Paul Lynde and Phyllis Diller. Wooo doggies! Um hi...could you use this bag to cover your kids face? I'm trying to eat. Thanks hon...
:P
kb
Post a Comment
<< Home