Shit at the table
While growing up, my parents mandated that everyone in the family would eat dinner together, every night. It was their way of catching up on what was going on in the lives of each member of the family.
We talked about what we did in school and at work, what was going on in the news and around the world, the weather, what we have planned for the week and beyond.
In those days, we shot the shit.
Now, we just talk about shit. Literally.
Who went today? How many times this week? Was it soft? Hard? Runny? Was it a couple of turds? Was it a long circle? Thickness? Consistency? Colour? Corn? And, how are those ‘roids? Still a little itchy? Do those suckers burn each and every time? Do you need any Prep H?
Strangely, no one finds talking about shit at the table to be disgusting. Just like sleeping and breathing, everyone does it, so why be ashamed? It’s the one thing we all have in common… except for the consistency thing.
In my family, a day without shit is like a day without crazy.
Note: Sorry for grossing y'all out, but now you know my life can be pretty shitty.
We talked about what we did in school and at work, what was going on in the news and around the world, the weather, what we have planned for the week and beyond.
In those days, we shot the shit.
Now, we just talk about shit. Literally.
Who went today? How many times this week? Was it soft? Hard? Runny? Was it a couple of turds? Was it a long circle? Thickness? Consistency? Colour? Corn? And, how are those ‘roids? Still a little itchy? Do those suckers burn each and every time? Do you need any Prep H?
Strangely, no one finds talking about shit at the table to be disgusting. Just like sleeping and breathing, everyone does it, so why be ashamed? It’s the one thing we all have in common… except for the consistency thing.
In my family, a day without shit is like a day without crazy.
Note: Sorry for grossing y'all out, but now you know my life can be pretty shitty.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
11 Comments:
Sorry, but I find it less than a necessary topic at the dinner table. If it needs to be discussed, I would ask for an adjournment and delay - to another location and until after my dinner settled.
Hmmm... talking about poo wouldn't put me off my food per se... but I've got to ask what the fascination is?
And of course, you remember this post at Christmas time....whereby I found out, via the comments, that it's fairly typical conversation around many dining tables. Lovely.
http://spiritofsaintlewis.blogspot.com/2006/12/did-you-have-yours-today.html
PS: No, I haven't had mine yet today.....stay tuned.
i loved family dinners. we didnt have enough of them but such is life.
we never talked about our shits.
Poop never entered into conversations with my folks. Raising the subject probably would have resulted in levels of discomfort unmeasurable by any standard.
I swear, you and I are related somehow...I feel a little bit of comfort, now that I know that it's just not my family!
I can't...I don't...uh, that is...
Wow.
I have the most prudish family ever.
Spouse and I discuss sara's poo daily. I'm no grossed out at all, but then you knew that;)
Well, I guess I'm not eating lunch now.
You have a strange family. Have you ever thought about writing a book on them?
How did Oprah describe a good shit? I think she referred to it as being "like an Acapulco diver..."
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