Nipples

After sitting down in this uncomfortable chair for way too long, I decide it’s time that I take a break. My legs need to stretch and I have to use the loo.

When I finish with my business, I turn towards the sink and turn on the faucet to wash my hands. With the water running, I look up and see my reflection in the mirror. Awful. This fluorescent lighting makes even the most beautiful of people look like the living dead.

With my hands washed and dried, I take a few seconds to make sure I look alright. Strange. There seems to be something on my sweater. A little stain of some sort. Round. Off to the side of my chest. I poke at the spot and it becomes more apparent. Then I notice something horrifying: there are two spots, perfectly opposite of each other.

Oh, Jesus Fucking Christ.

They’re not stains, they’re my nipples.

Whether it's the lighting, or the sheerness of the fabric, my nipples are visible. Both of them. And, no one has ever said anything. Ever. Are they embarrassed, or ashamed? Do like the show? Should I start charging admission? Who the fuck cares! They’re there. Saluting the troops, hailing the flag. We stand on guard for thee.

That does it. From now on, I’m wearing undershirts with everything I own.