I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Doctor, your 6 o'clock appointment is here

Whenever you have a conversation with another person, you expect the talking to be two-sided, like a game of give-and-take: one person talks, then the other.

Sometimes, it’s much more difficult, not because one person is hogging the conversation, but because the other person isn’t saying a thing (they’re uncomfortable and/or shy, or conversely, stubborn and/or evasive).

You'd think it would be easy to get inside their head to see what’s going on, but it can be challenging. It’s like a carjacking, where you're jimmying the lock, but don’t realize there’s a silent alarm sending a warning to the police.

And, I hate that awkward (and eerie) moment of silence.

What ends up happening is that I turn into an armchair psychologist and start asking a series of questions to get something out of them: Family life? Siblings? School? Job? Where they live? Anything to get a response.

But, I never ask the "But, how does that make you feel?" sort of question. I'm not Barbra Streisand, they're not Nick Nolte, and this isn't the re-enactment of the rape scene in The Prince of Tides.

It's such a pain in the ass, and I don’t want to give the impression that I’m analyzing them; I'm just trying to figure out why they aren't talking.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You make "pain in the ass" sound like it's a bad thing. ;)

June 06, 2007 11:54 pm  
Blogger Salem said...

There’s a silent alarm sending a warning to the police. Really, there is.

June 07, 2007 12:27 am  
Blogger A Lewis said...

So, are you the kind of doctor that wants my pants down so that you can fondle me and then I'm supposed to cough??
I admit, I don't mind talking or sharing....but absolutely do not like to be over analyzed.

June 07, 2007 9:17 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm so very guilty of not being forthcoming sometimes, or not answering a question with anything but the barest information. I don't know that I do it intentionally but I'm usually aware of it after I've done it, then I feel bad and overcompensate by hogging the conversaton and spilling too much.
Crazy? Moi??

June 07, 2007 9:21 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

i did get the feeling i was in therapy when i met you.

oh wait! i was IN therapy!

June 07, 2007 2:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, it's probably the only way to get any response. There are really talented people who can do that without anyone realizing they are trying to break through the reserved person's walls. The rest of us are more obvious. But hey, we're trying.

OTOH, If it's too much of a struggle... is it worth it?

June 07, 2007 4:44 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

I've enjoyed our phone chats...there was more than one chat, yes?...anyhoo...no lulls in the convo between us 2 chatterboxes...

xoxo

June 07, 2007 6:37 pm  
Blogger Single Guy said...

The more hair you have on your crack the more lint you pick up

June 09, 2007 6:59 pm  

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