Not blueberries
Ever since I taught my niece the word yucky, my sister has always been hesitant about leaving her alone with me, fearing that I will teach her every bad word in the dictionary.
And, her insticts are correct.
**
"Uncle, what are you doing?" asks my niece, sitting in her stroller, as I turn my head away and blow my nose.
"Uncle is blowing his nose. He has snot in his nose."
"Not?" she asks.
"S-not," I repeat. I turn towards her. "Say it with Uncle: sss-not."
"S-not." She puts an emphasis on the s.
"Very good." I smile.
As an added bonus, I continue: "Uncle also has boogers."
"Bluebayries," she says. "Uncle has bluebayries in his nose." Being a sharp child, she forms an immediate association between the two terms.
"No, not blueberries," I laugh. "Boogers. Uncle has boogers in his nose."
"Boogers," she replies.
"One more time," I say.
"Boogers." Her lips form a small circle.
"Very good."
We get ready to go on our stroll, and I couldn't help but wonder that my sister is right in wanting my niece nowhere near me when I talk to her. I'm a horrible influence, and I'm going to hell when my sister kills me for teaching her daughter naughty words.
And, her insticts are correct.
**
"Uncle, what are you doing?" asks my niece, sitting in her stroller, as I turn my head away and blow my nose.
"Uncle is blowing his nose. He has snot in his nose."
"Not?" she asks.
"S-not," I repeat. I turn towards her. "Say it with Uncle: sss-not."
"S-not." She puts an emphasis on the s.
"Very good." I smile.
As an added bonus, I continue: "Uncle also has boogers."
"Bluebayries," she says. "Uncle has bluebayries in his nose." Being a sharp child, she forms an immediate association between the two terms.
"No, not blueberries," I laugh. "Boogers. Uncle has boogers in his nose."
"Boogers," she replies.
"One more time," I say.
"Boogers." Her lips form a small circle.
"Very good."
We get ready to go on our stroll, and I couldn't help but wonder that my sister is right in wanting my niece nowhere near me when I talk to her. I'm a horrible influence, and I'm going to hell when my sister kills me for teaching her daughter naughty words.
Authored by S at 12:00 am
7 Comments:
I'd planned on teaching those things to my nephew. Now who's going to teach him "filthy americans???"
:P
OMG, that's funny. You are doing the exact thing uncles are meant to do.
Wait till you get to explain all the words for bodily functions, words to use in traffic, how to talk about other people.
Boogers and snot are dirty words?
Well, fuck.
Everyone needs a horrible influence on them.....and you're doing a nice job......I'd do the same. Plus, blueberries in body orifices....sounds sort of naughty.
yeah. boogers and snot are bad words? damn. i thought this country was bad.
Apparantly you have a different language north of the border.
Thankfully (on my Brother & Sisters part) I dont see my niece & 2 nephews too often...I am afraid my vocab would not paint a pretty picture in their tender minds...I just hope they dont learn the words 'fag' & 'poofter' too soon...Or Uncle might get cross!
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