Fashion crimes: From the neck down
There’s a guy who takes the same train as I do in the morning. He’s young, cute, a professional of sorts. He stands out in a crowd not for those reasons, but for the fact that the man can’t dress if his life depends on it.
Either he’s blind, or single, because there is no way his wife/girlfriend would let him leave the house looking like that. My bets are on single since I’ve seen him dodge cars in the parking lot.
Normally, he wears a dark blazer (navy or charcoal), dark blue, pin-striped slacks (not from the coordinating blazer), a light-coloured shirt, baby-poo-toned brown shoes, and a chocolate brown briefcase. Nothing matches, everything clashes.
He cares about his appearance because he’s always well-groomed from the neck up. From the neck down… well, that’s another story.
As much as I want to go up to him and tell him that he needs some help, I think it might be rude (and I'm not a rude person).
Still, a part of me makes me want to teach him how to put together his outfits, and dress him up like a Ken doll. That would be a blast. We could go shopping and pick out stuff for him to wear that he wouldn't like, but I'd end up keeping because we're almost the same size.
Of course, he'd be paying for it all.
In the end, he looks good from the neck down, and I get a new wardrobe. It's win-win!
Either he’s blind, or single, because there is no way his wife/girlfriend would let him leave the house looking like that. My bets are on single since I’ve seen him dodge cars in the parking lot.
Normally, he wears a dark blazer (navy or charcoal), dark blue, pin-striped slacks (not from the coordinating blazer), a light-coloured shirt, baby-poo-toned brown shoes, and a chocolate brown briefcase. Nothing matches, everything clashes.
He cares about his appearance because he’s always well-groomed from the neck up. From the neck down… well, that’s another story.
As much as I want to go up to him and tell him that he needs some help, I think it might be rude (and I'm not a rude person).
Still, a part of me makes me want to teach him how to put together his outfits, and dress him up like a Ken doll. That would be a blast. We could go shopping and pick out stuff for him to wear that he wouldn't like, but I'd end up keeping because we're almost the same size.
Of course, he'd be paying for it all.
In the end, he looks good from the neck down, and I get a new wardrobe. It's win-win!
Authored by S at 12:00 am
6 Comments:
Ha! That would sooooo be me if it were here. He could quite easily be a gay man lacking the stereotypical "fashion" gene. I definitely lack it.
You should totally hum Dress You Up next time you see him.
I was positive this was heading in a different direction. Like, you'd tell him you were a fashion expert, follow him home, and strip him down to his underwear.
Then tell him you don't feel like playing dress-up any more, and ask if he wants some coffee instead.
Two words: camera phone. Then when can vote on whether it's worth the effort.
you're gonna dress him up in your love? all over all over?
really what does it matter when his clothes will be laying at the foot of your bed by day's end?
You're Cher Horowitz from Clueless.
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