I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Out of my league

Even though I think I have a pretty good level of self esteem and a lack of body issues, there are times where I'm in a situation where I begin to reconsider those thoughts. This situation entails a moment where someone out of your league is interested in you. Not only are they smart and funny, but their beauty would make God weep and weak in the knees.

Because it's me, I start to ask questions in my head: Why are they interested in me? Are they making fun of me? Why aren't they talking to other people? Is this a part of some cruel, Mean Girls-like game? Do I look fat in this shirt? When I bought it, it looked good on me, but then I had some broccoli last night for dinner and it always makes me a little bloated...

But, then I take a step back and convince myself there must be something about me that initiated this attraction. Maybe I'm not so unattractive to garner an ounce of attention. Maybe it's the personality. Maybe it's the threads. Maybe it's the fact that I can make them hoarse by having them scream out my name after using them as my own personal rag doll.

It's not any of that. It can't be. My cynicism won't allow me to believe it. Deep down inside, I think they like me for some twisted, ulterior motive they have up their sleeves. Only when I can let go of that feeling, will I realize there is something that attracted them to me.

Hmmm... Maybe I don't have a good level of self-esteem when it comes to these matters.

4 Comments:

Blogger A Lewis said...

I guess it might begin with a clear, definable definitition of "your league." Then you'd know if they fit in it or not. I have a feeling that they were attracted to you BECAUSE OF your twisted quirkiness and uniqeness. Not in spite of it. It's all good, my friend.

November 05, 2008 9:20 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

geez louise...

imagine what the other person is thinking... you're probably intimidating the hell out of that person who's thinking they are so out of their league with you...

November 05, 2008 10:41 pm  
Blogger John Wolf said...

Hey dude! Love your blog!

Would love to be listed in your site seeing section!

John

http://muchbetterthanworking.blogspot.com

-peace

November 06, 2008 10:22 pm  
Blogger franck said...

If there's one thing I've learnt in my long, long dating/flirting career, it's that nobody is ever out of anybody's league

November 07, 2008 8:50 am  

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