Out of my league

Even though I think I have a pretty good level of self esteem and a lack of body issues, there are times where I'm in a situation where I begin to reconsider those thoughts. This situation entails a moment where someone out of your league is interested in you. Not only are they smart and funny, but their beauty would make God weep and weak in the knees.

Because it's me, I start to ask questions in my head: Why are they interested in me? Are they making fun of me? Why aren't they talking to other people? Is this a part of some cruel, Mean Girls-like game? Do I look fat in this shirt? When I bought it, it looked good on me, but then I had some broccoli last night for dinner and it always makes me a little bloated...

But, then I take a step back and convince myself there must be something about me that initiated this attraction. Maybe I'm not so unattractive to garner an ounce of attention. Maybe it's the personality. Maybe it's the threads. Maybe it's the fact that I can make them hoarse by having them scream out my name after using them as my own personal rag doll.

It's not any of that. It can't be. My cynicism won't allow me to believe it. Deep down inside, I think they like me for some twisted, ulterior motive they have up their sleeves. Only when I can let go of that feeling, will I realize there is something that attracted them to me.

Hmmm... Maybe I don't have a good level of self-esteem when it comes to these matters.