Being considerate sucks
B's birthday is on Thursday and I just find out that J is also invited. Since B lives in the burbs, I'd have to take the train out and B tells me that I can meet up with J and he can pick us up at the station.
When I hear about these plans, I think it's best that I don't go. The last thing I want to do is to 'ruin' a friend's birthday with having people ask me why I'm getting dagger looks from J.
Because I don't want to surprise J by appearing at the party (or at the train station) out of the blue, I decide it's best to write and send a short text message.
"I'm not going to B's bday because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Simple and empathetic.
A short while later, I get a text back...
"Well that was news to me. Don't let me get in the way." Bitchy and mean-spirited.
I let it go and don't respond. J is in one of his moods. The last thing I want to do is exacerbate it. Even though I think it's a rather considerate thing to do, as it turns out, not everyone feels the same way.
Interesting enough, my actions have an effect that continue onto the next day...
When I hear about these plans, I think it's best that I don't go. The last thing I want to do is to 'ruin' a friend's birthday with having people ask me why I'm getting dagger looks from J.
Because I don't want to surprise J by appearing at the party (or at the train station) out of the blue, I decide it's best to write and send a short text message.
"I'm not going to B's bday because I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Simple and empathetic.
A short while later, I get a text back...
"Well that was news to me. Don't let me get in the way." Bitchy and mean-spirited.
I let it go and don't respond. J is in one of his moods. The last thing I want to do is exacerbate it. Even though I think it's a rather considerate thing to do, as it turns out, not everyone feels the same way.
Interesting enough, my actions have an effect that continue onto the next day...
Authored by S at 12:00 am
6 Comments:
Why should you lose out on B's birthday because J can't control his dagger-eyes?
Tell J to grow a pair, and pretend to get along for B's sake. If he can't do that for B, he's not much of a friend.
Some folks just get pissed no matter what we do. Ignore them.
Maybe... just maybe... he's over you and he REALLy doesn't care if you're there or not. Maybe... just maybe... it's YOU that's making the fuss. Why not go along and see what (if) there's any fuss at all. Maybe... just maybe... you need to move on. Just a thought....
Oh, this story arc ought to be good. Can't wait to see where this one goes. Thanks for the head's up S.
ain't technology grand. thank god you got a 21st century phone. otherwise how would the saga continue?
I agree with Matt S....don't let anyone else ruin a good time for you. Take the higher road and let your hair down!
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