Not-so-happy birthday texts
It’s J's birthday and she’s off at the cottage of Crazy’s parents with a bunch of friends. I wish the circumstances were different so I would’ve been able to go. Alas, they’re not.
Because I can’t be there to wish her a happy birthday, I send a text message. It’s not the same as being there, but it’s pretty close.
“Happy birthday! Hope you and B get to sing to each other while high on E! :)”
The E reference comes from the time I went to the same cottage with a group of people. She and B were high on drugs and singing to each other while B played the guitar. I was the only other person around, watching them with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. It was highly entertaining.
I know she receives it and shows it to everyone in the cottage. No matter how much you try to pretend I don’t exist, I’ll always be in the periphery.
A few hours later, I send a text to B, who has been on the receiving end of her affections for too long. What B doesn’t seem to realize is any bit of attention he gives her is fodder for her to want him more. Since he’s young (like everyone else in the clique), he has little, or no, concepts of relationships.
By this point I already drank a couple of glasses of wine and am little buzzed. The tone isn’t as bitchy as it is biting.
“Hope you get to do coke with J on The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants! LOL.” This text needs no explanation.
Again, I know the reaction will be the same: Everyone in the cottage will read it, but only three people know what I’m referring to. That’s the thing with text messaging; people just can’t keep their fingers off their phones.
There aren’t any replies, but I don’t expect any. Happy birthday, anyway!
Because I can’t be there to wish her a happy birthday, I send a text message. It’s not the same as being there, but it’s pretty close.
“Happy birthday! Hope you and B get to sing to each other while high on E! :)”
The E reference comes from the time I went to the same cottage with a group of people. She and B were high on drugs and singing to each other while B played the guitar. I was the only other person around, watching them with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. It was highly entertaining.
I know she receives it and shows it to everyone in the cottage. No matter how much you try to pretend I don’t exist, I’ll always be in the periphery.
A few hours later, I send a text to B, who has been on the receiving end of her affections for too long. What B doesn’t seem to realize is any bit of attention he gives her is fodder for her to want him more. Since he’s young (like everyone else in the clique), he has little, or no, concepts of relationships.
By this point I already drank a couple of glasses of wine and am little buzzed. The tone isn’t as bitchy as it is biting.
“Hope you get to do coke with J on The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants! LOL.” This text needs no explanation.
Again, I know the reaction will be the same: Everyone in the cottage will read it, but only three people know what I’m referring to. That’s the thing with text messaging; people just can’t keep their fingers off their phones.
There aren’t any replies, but I don’t expect any. Happy birthday, anyway!
Authored by S at 12:00 am
1 Comments:
Reminds me of the MILLION texts, emails and such that I received on my b-day last week. Only i didn't get any telling me to do some coke.
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