I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Peer pressure is a bitch

When succumbing to peer pressure, many feel like the fat and socially awkward kid in high school that would do anything to fit in with the “in” crowd. They’re desperate for the attention and crave the need to belong to the popular clique.

But, unlike so many teens, I felt indifferent to these people.

That, and I secretly knew I was better for following my own path, and not the one dictated by the future gaggle of fat and bitter soccer moms and a group of dads with a penchant for the nastiest pussy they can find on the Net.

But, it comes as a surprise - a reversal of irony, per se - when I am tagged to complete a list of five (personal) habits/behaviours that others may find strange.

Me? You want me to join in? Shouldn’t I be asking to be part of your group?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever (there goes the indifference, again).

Without breaking into a sweat like a guilty whore in a Catholic church, I’m following through with this challenge dry as a bone because that whole religious thing doesn’t work on me.

A warning: Although these behaviours may be considered to be odd to some, to me, they make logical sense.

Why wouldn’t they make sense to me? I mean, I am talking about myself.

* *

I tidy up displays while shoplifting in any retail environment. It can entail rearranging and folding of clothing, to the straightening up of books on a table. I like organized and pretty, I don’t like messy and fugly.

I walk with my mouth slightly open. Since my lips are full (no collagen here, folks), it looks like I’m pouting, but the truth is I can’t breathe through my nose because of my allergies.

I pick at the underside of my nails because I hate to see anything dark underneath my perfect manicure. Why spend all that time on something just to muck it all up with a load of crap?

I can't sit with both feet on the floor. One of my legs has to be crossed, or placed under my bum (sometimes both, so it appears that I’m kneeling in the chair). I can’t explain it and I won’t even bother.

I don't like to wear underwear, unless it's cold outside (frostbite - owie) or I'm at work (there is no binder or briefcase large enough to hide any form of enthusism). My friends are so lucky that I'm not a nudist...

* *

So, to continue with the peer pressure reversal, I have to select five others to complete the same challenge (it's the rules).

But, with this being me, I won’t.

Just add a comment on what you think others might consider being a bad habit. Come on, you can do it. You want people to like you, don’t you?

There you go. It wasn’t that bad, now was it?

You see? Peer pressure is a bitch.

5 Comments:

Anonymous newbie said...

Those are bad habits? Um, I constantly "groom" my eyebrows, which are bushy, because I'm too big a puss to pluck them, with my fingernails, like a compulsive stress relief thing.

I drink my beer outa a glass, because the can is gross, and I don't like to give the pervos the opportunity to imagine it's their dick in my mouth.

I ignore those I consider to be stupid, even when I try to listen.

January 18, 2006 10:04 pm  
Blogger Knottyboy said...

I hate guys who piss with the seat down. So in public I wipe the seat and raise it before I do my business myself. Washing my hands of course when I'm through. Mama didn't raise no fool.
kb
Nudist? I plan to finally get there in my head some day. I want the body image of porn star.

January 19, 2006 10:11 am  
Blogger whatsthebuzz said...

Knottyboy, believe me...that crap happens in public women's restrooms too! Okay...I GET it! It's a public toilet and you may choose to 'hover', but WHAT? The HOLE ISN'T BIG ENOUGH???!! How do you MISS that thing? (and if you do, wipe it OFF for God sake!!!)

January 19, 2006 1:43 pm  
Blogger Kevin said...

Do you shoplift alot? Could you pick me up a few things?

I also walk with my mouth slightly open, as my knuckles drag across the ground.

I also do 3 & 4.

I love to do #5 too, but for various reasons it's never a wise choice as the results of my enthusiasm are very easy to see.

(My, we're alike ... and sorry I wasn't the first this time ...)

January 19, 2006 3:08 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Like I said before, these behaviours are ones that other people can't stand me doing.

Anyway, it isn't like I'd actually admit to smelling my fingers after scratching myself, or something.

Now, that's just gross.

January 19, 2006 4:05 pm  

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