I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, January 27, 2006

R.S.V.P. (pt. 2)

It doesn’t matter if I have plans. They don’t count.

After a lot of discussing (albeit, it resembles fighting, only there isn’t the requisite slamming of doors), the consensus is I have to go because. Because I have to. Because the rest of the family is coming. Because they can’t think of another reason. It sounds like the explanation of an 8-year-old when you ask them why they swung the cat’s tail (cat still attached) around their head and flung it against the wall – repeatedly.

Here is the dilemma…

Should you not go and wait until your family comes back from the wedding so they can tell how embarrassed they were because they had to lie when people asked them why I didn’t come? Should you go and be miserable while your family nags you for hours on end on why you’re so fucking miserable?

Tough call.

With a pen in hand, I check off the appropriate box and fill out the rest of the R.S.V.P. The card is placed in the small return-stamp envelope and the adhesive strip is licked with my moist tongue. Casually, I place the card in the mail.

In a few days, the groom’s family will receive their response.

I hope they weren’t expecting me.


Blogger whatsthebuzz said...

You're a brave guy! I'm sure you can take it when they start giving you the business, but it still stinks. It might be different if you actually associated with these people AT ALL!!! It sounds to me like your family wants to keep up appearances with people who don't really give a shit if you're there or not.

I'm betting that IF anyone even asks why you didn't come, the excuse could be an honest one. "He had something else to do today." Those people don't care WHY you didn't come. If they miss you that badly, they can write or call. If they haven't noticed you 'missing' in their lives over the past 15 years, they probably won't notice that you didn't show up.

January 27, 2006 1:37 am  
Blogger Kevin said...

Good for you. Best bet in this situation, to at least appease the teaming masses, would be to still send a card. That way you can pretend you care without all the hassle.

And I completely agree with Buzz -- if they miss you that much, why haven't you seen them since the last wedding?

January 27, 2006 8:31 am  
Anonymous newbie said...

They'll probably open the reply, and look at each other, and say, "Did you invite him?" :-)

They invited you because they wanted to say that had at least one intellegent, integretous, gorgeous, guest at their little "event."

I'm sure your presence is a present.

But, um, attendance by guilt, reserve that for another ocaission.

January 27, 2006 6:38 pm  
Anonymous Dutchimport said...

I guess for some people it's really quantity what counts in life. If you haven't seen the person in 15 years, why the hell did they invite you? Some people base their succes of a party on how many people are invited, how many people showed up, and how many presents they got. Shouldn't it be more about who you really love and have a bond with, and just have these people around, drink cheap wine, and laugh and cry all night, even if it might only be a handfull of people? Oh well, for each it's own, I guess...

January 29, 2006 12:00 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Ultimately, I think the reason why they did invite me was for the booty.

No, not that kind of booty; I mean the $$ kind.

January 29, 2006 5:13 pm  

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