Red rover, red rover

In a busy city, sidewalks bustle with hundreds of thousands of people by the second, each one stomping on the pavement with their soles, getting from point A to point B.

Even though they are designed for pedestrians, it doesn’t mean people know how to use them effectively.

Although most people do walk at a brisk clip, some don’t. These people are typically seniors or teenagers who have the world on their shoulders because “no one understands” them. I walk around them and carry on.

The other sorts of people who don’t know how to use sidewalks are those who form a line, four to five people, side-by-side, linked in a human chain. No one can pass them without falling into traffic, almost getting hit by a Hyundai with faulty brakes.

Whenever I come near them, the first thing I do is think of red rover.

Red rover, red rover, we call Steven over!

This is a game made of two groups of children, linked by arms, forming a human chain. One group calls over one person from the other side to attempt and break the chain, and if they succeed they go back to their group. If they fail, they are now members of the other group. The game continues until one side has no one left (typically).

But, I’m not a child and neither are these people in front of me.

For some reason, I think they’re taunting me with that chant.

Red rover, red rover, we call Steven over!

Smug bastards. Like fuck I’m going to play their game.

Since they’re ignoring everyone around them, I take a few quick steps towards the chain, say excuse me, break the chain, walk forward and think: Red rover, red rover, you better move out of the fuckin’ my way next time before I pop a cap in yo ass, bitch.