I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Awkward, line one

There are a series of rules as to when to call someone after a first date, and none of them are simple. If you like them, it has been said to give them a call 24-48 hours after the rendez-vous. But, you have to consider how long you spent with them, what you did, if there were sparks, and if you left your underwear behind. And, it is only then that you – should – call them to say how much you enjoyed your time.

But, what if it's a non-date?

Since I’m someone who doesn’t date, I find that I’m in the middle of something that I can’t get out of. It’s like peeing in the corner of a round room: impossible to do, but when you do it, you know you’re probably doing it all wrong.

Inevitably, my phone call would sound something like this…

“Uh, yeah, this is Steven. Hope you enjoyed yourself and that you didn’t get sick… from eating the ice cream, not because you spent time with me… although that’s always possible. Ha ha. Ummm, so… I’m not really sure what the rules are on the calling back thing after a date since we didn’t go on a date, we just hung out and did some things. Hence, this phone call. So, yeah. I think that’s it. Did I confuse you? Should I talk slower…? You’re probably laughing right now, aren’t you? Oh, God. Ha ha. Uh, ok, I’ll let you go. Hope to see you soon. Bye.”

Hello, awkward, line one!

There’s no way to mask the ickiness of that conversation. One big ball of nerves, smothered in a thin layer of vomit. Sadly, I would probably be worse in person, but at least I could guage their reaction – amused, surprised, repelled.

This is one of the reasons why I don't date.

And, I won't even get into the other ones. That's a whole other story.

9 Comments:

Blogger about a boy said...

couldnt you just call. to call. to just say hello. see how they are doing?

the worst they could do would be hang up on you.

its happened to this boy.hell. i called a boy who gave me his actual phone number. and told me to call.

and ive not heard from him since. that was 3 weeks ago.

boys can suck.

October 19, 2007 10:21 am  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay said...

if i got a message like that, i'd think you were super cute and funny.

October 19, 2007 12:04 pm  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Oh suck it up and call. Feeling awkward is the fruit for lovely stories.

October 19, 2007 4:00 pm  
Blogger wolveriner said...

If it's a non-date, then your dating strategies don't apply. I wouldn't call.

October 19, 2007 4:15 pm  
Anonymous Paul said...

Personally, I always find awkward to be much more attractive and interesting than uber-polished! Call and let him experience the cuteness.

October 20, 2007 10:52 am  
Blogger Phronk said...

True. Not being awkward in that sort of situation would be weird , because only crazy people are all smooth and polished all the time. It would be awkward to not be awkward.

Not that knowing this makes it any easier.

October 20, 2007 10:55 pm  
Blogger Darin said...

I totally hear what you're saying with this post.

Hence, I don't date, either.

Single People of the World - SPICE UP YOUR LIFE!

October 21, 2007 7:01 pm  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

i hate all those games people play! i've learned to just be up front and say, "hey i'm interested in you" ; i don't have time to wait 24-48 hours for a phone call!!

October 22, 2007 11:29 am  
Blogger Doghigh said...

"It’s like peeing in the corner of a round room: impossible to do, but when you do it, you know you’re probably doing it all wrong." - I have really, really missed reading your blog!!

October 30, 2007 1:04 pm  

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