I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Let's not talk about sex

Even though I consider myself to be a fairly open-minded individual, there are certain things said in conversation that I don’t want to listen to, or hear about.

Namely, the sex lives of people I know.

The reason for this is simple: I want to know people as asexual beings.

Although that sounds quite ridiculous, it makes sense to me. Humans are sexual and primal and without sex there would be no propagating of the species. Also, it feels good.

But, when it comes to people I know, the last thing I want to do is let my mind go there. And, of course when it goes there, I start to think of the wacka-wacka music, the dim lighting, the paraphernalia, and the bodies gettin’ it on.

Of course, some of those hot people would make an entertaining porno in your mind. Too bad you’d be aroused when talking to them because the only thing you’d be thinking of is what makes their eyes roll back in their heads.

And, when it’s not-so-hot people, then it’s like a horror flick waiting to happen. Ugly people bumping uglies ain't pretty. No matter how much you try, you can’t wake up from this nightmare. Based on statistics, the not-so-hot people are usually the ones who get it often, hence more stories.

So, please, next time you talk to me, keep the sex talk out of the conversation. I don’t want to know who you did, where you did it, and how many times you did it.


Blogger Chris said...

You haven't been skeeved until a 68 year old man hints about his sex life. It's enough to make you set yourself on fire just to get out of it.

October 15, 2007 9:25 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

so, you are opposed to sex tapes of people you know?

October 15, 2007 11:11 am  
Blogger Steven said...

Chris: Ew, old people sex stories are the worst. Unclean! Unclean!

October 15, 2007 3:27 pm  
Blogger Eric said...

Listen, if you don't want to see me naked everytime we hang out, just say so.

October 15, 2007 4:12 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I agree totally about not wanting to hear about the "older" people or the not so hot people having sex, well, they got to have it too, right? lol

Actually I get a bit uncomfortable when anyone talks about sex, as though they want to brag about who they had the night before. Maybe there is a proper place for that.

OMG I'm starting to sound like a prude!!!!

October 16, 2007 12:49 am  

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