I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Peaked

Mountain ranges are made up of peaks and valleys. Over the grassy knolls and rocky cliffs are a series of ups and downs. Sometimes the rise is easy, sometimes the fall is hard. Either way, mountains have a lot in common with life. Spefically, mine.

**

Towards the end of high school, I thought I had it all. I was an A-student, involved in school activities, President of Students' Council for two years running, worked for a respected company, and was going to University (with a small scholarship). People liked me and I was admired by adults for being a good role model.

University came along, and – after a few shaky moments involving chemistry class and psycho roommates – became a part of life. It didn’t take me too long to find a new group of friends (whom I still talk to), do well with my studies, become the treasurer of a club in University, and graduate with an A-minus average.

After graduation… nothing.

For some reason, I thought employers would be clamouring for someone like me: young, bright, intelligent, a hard worker, well-liked, and impeccably groomed. But, I couldn’t find work, except in retail (which was fine, but a demotion, of sorts).

After going back to school and getting a second degree, I thought the same thing as before: Who wouldn’t want to have me work for them? As it turns out, no one did.

It seems like I peaked in high school and it’s been downhill ever since.

For the past few years my life has been in decline. Friends have come and gone (mostly gone), respect has flown out the window, my attitude has been in freefall, and I’ve been working from contract to contract, making the same amount of money (or no money, at all). There are people I know who are mean/cruel, did terribly in school, are horrible employees, and end up making a good life for themselves. I, on the other hand, have been told that being ambitious, driven, hard-working, and passionate are the reasons why I'm not succeeding.

And it angers me that I see others around me who continually climb the corporate ladder while I’m at the bottom, with a series of broken limbs.

Am I meant to be the one who shows all the promise, but never is given a chance? It feels like it. I hope is that I can’t be that person for the rest of my life because I don’t want the next 50 years to be as shitty as the past few.

9 Comments:

Blogger Random Thinker said...

whoa... is this meant to be a WTF post?

we'll talk more about this later! count on it

October 17, 2007 9:27 am  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

I have a similar story, I guess. I'd say you need to stop defining success as "having a high-paying job."

You're healthy, attractive, not-homeless, and you know how to punctuate - shouldn't that be enough? Everything else is gravy.

October 17, 2007 10:46 am  
Anonymous Paul said...

I feel the same way sometimes. Of late I have been thinking that rather than trying to get really good at playing the game with the existing set of rules, what I I really need to do is change the game.

October 17, 2007 10:46 am  
Blogger hot-lunch said...

i often feel the same way. i used to sit at my job and think, OMG I used to be smart! I used to have a BRAIN! Now I'm a glorified secretary or now I input data for a living! Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I didn't go to school to come out and do that.

Anyhow, I am sorta learning that things are what you make of it... believe in yourself, go for the gold, you'll achieve it... don't wait around for opportunity to find you, go and find it yourself. i know, it sounds tiring just typing that... best of luck and hope u feel better!

October 17, 2007 11:52 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

goodness gracious.

deep breath. talk to me.

October 17, 2007 12:17 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

My dear, YOU, are far from peaking...the best is yet to come, and besides this friend aint going nowhere...now shut up & just look pretty...wink!

October 17, 2007 5:11 pm  
Blogger Glenn said...

Dear friend, as you know everything in life is cyclical. The seasons, the real estate market...everything. This, too, shall pass. Smart, funny, attractive people always succeed.

October 17, 2007 11:07 pm  
Blogger Roronoa Zoro said...

you are not alone

October 18, 2007 12:16 am  
Blogger Chris said...

I have had my fair share of derailments, disasters, disappointments and shattered dreams too. I just tell myself that it wasn't meant to be. I know I am here for a reason. Just because my real estate ventures exploded in my face doesn't mean I can't write a future best-selling book about it.

October 18, 2007 1:27 pm  

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