I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, November 09, 2007

To the guy with the dandruff problem

Hey.

You don’t know me, but I know you. In fact, I know you pretty well. Even though I didn’t get to see your face too clearly, I saw the back of your head… and your powdered shoulders.

I felt so bad you weren’t able to see the amount of dandruff you had. Seriously. It was like the several inches of snow fell in a centralized location. In cases that extreme, someone should’ve told you. Of course, that someone would’ve had balls of brass. Mine aren’t brass, they’re platinum, so I was out of the running.

To make matters worse, you were wearing a burgundy dress shirt (and that's a crime all to itself). When you know Desonex isn’t working, wear a white shirt. It’s so much easier and won’t make others snicker behind your back (and shoulders). Well, that and white goes with everything, including dandruff.

Even if I had the flakes (which I don’t, or ever had), I wouldn’t subject myself to making my scalp problems any more obvious to others. I know when to hide things that need to be hidden and when to show things off when they need to be seen (like my track marks).

For your sake, I’m praying God is watching and sends a strong gust of wind your way. It would make it easier on all of us.

Best,
Steven.

12 Comments:

Blogger Random Thinker said...

Why are you always picking on me?

last time i wear a wine colored shirt when we're meeting!

by the way, have you ever smelled yor OWN breath?

enough said!

November 09, 2007 1:48 am  
Blogger Christopher said...

Aww...you should've been a good samaritan & brushed him off...literally!

November 09, 2007 3:39 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

i always freak out when i wear black.

then again im always freaking out.

i dont have dandruff. but i do get dry scalp. ugh.

November 09, 2007 11:49 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

I would personally like to thank the lady sitting in front of me on a bus that fluffed up her hair and f***ing snowed on the apple I was eating at the time! Barrrf! :O...

Steven

November 09, 2007 12:57 pm  
Blogger Paul said...

Balls of Platinum? Those are more valuable than brass any day! And shiny too. I was trying to think of a polite way you could have given him the hint but really there isn't. So sad.

November 09, 2007 1:38 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

When I have dandruff and it's too late to shower, I use a can of compressed air to blow everything away. It's a great quick fix when I'm late for my therapy appointment.

November 09, 2007 3:29 pm  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...

I saw a guy at the store once that didn't have dandruff flakes he had dandruff snowballs. Those f-ers were HUGE!

Gross!

November 09, 2007 6:19 pm  
Blogger Bobby Vanquish said...

I knew that reading this would come in handy at some point...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7080434.stm

November 10, 2007 7:48 pm  
Blogger Adorable said...

I am lucky enough to have never experienced dandruff. Instead AG is a female who may be going bald. I so have to make a derm appointment to get this looked at!

November 10, 2007 10:40 pm  
Blogger nikoeternal.com said...

Thought u'd like this http://body.aol.com/news/articles/_a/dandruffs-genes-sequenced/20071108101509990001
Enjoy!

November 11, 2007 4:46 pm  
Blogger rajaswari said...

Even lime can do wonders for dandruff. apply it on ur scalp n leave it for about 30 mins before your bath and thn wash your hair. for even better result, in your final rinse squeeze 1 entire lime n a mug of water and pour it on your head

Goodbye Dandruff

June 25, 2009 7:45 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good Informative Post! Dandruff is a very common skin condition that nearly all people experience at one point in their lives regardless of age or ethnicity.

The most common cause of dandruff is dry skin. There are other causes, too. Irritated skin, psoriasis, eczema and a yeast-like fungus can also cause this disorder. Sometimes using the wrong hair care products also cause irritations on your scalp. When these irritations get out of control you suffer from dandruff, too.

Dandruff Remedies

July 31, 2009 2:51 am  

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