I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, November 23, 2007

To insure proper service

To change our usual routine, B and I decide to have lunch somewhere downtown instead of meeting at the coffee place near his work. We’re both hungry, and he knows of a hideaway restaurant that only those ‘in the know’ know about.

After walking a bit, we turn into a street off of Dundas and make our way up a flight of stairs. Inside, the restaurant is humming and buzzing. Most of the large, round tables are filled with patrons. We’re asked if we don’t mind sitting at one of these tables because the smaller ones are occupied. We don’t care and sit down at the one nearest to the bar.

We quickly make our decisions while the server puts down two small cups and a pot of tea. Funnily enough, our orders are almost the same. In fact, my second choice was B’s first pick.

For the next ½ hour, we eat, drink tea, and try to avoid that lull in the conversation that occurs when both people are chewing simultaneously. While this is happening, a series of several servers pass by our table, clean up, remove plates, and replace the teapot.

When we’re finished and it’s time to pay the bill, I walk over to the cash and get my wallet ready. B has already paid for coffee on more than one occasion (and has invited me to dinner), so I think it’s only fair that lunch is on me.

I see the people in ahead of me in line, pay then walk out without tipping. Does anyone tip? I thnk. How strange. Are you not supposed to tip servers? And, if you do, which servers do you tip? All of them? There were about six of them who whisked by our table and I don’t even recall their faces; it was like a sea of black and white starched uniforms.

Fuck, I ain't tipping six people. Their tips will be more than the lunch I just ate; almost twice the amount. Oh, hell to the no.

Before I become a story on Waiter Rant, I pay the bill in a rush of confusion, and walk out of the restaurant with B. I don’t mention anything about the tip, and neither does he. I’m not sure if he noticed, and if he did, he doesn't say anything.

Hopefully, he doesn’t think I’m a cheap bastard. The last thing I want to be is known for this grave and social faux pas. But, there's nothing I can do about it, now.

At least when he treats me to dinner, I won't have to worry about tipping any servers.

10 Comments:

Blogger Rusty said...

I always make sure the primary waiter get's a nice tip (and my number if he's cute). I don't worry about all the chip-boys and water girls who come by and keep the chip bowl full [clearly I eat at Mexican restaurants most of the time] and water glass topped.

November 23, 2007 10:26 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

I just leave the tip on the table and the rest can fight over it if they want. Some places I have heard, now just add it to the bill.

Steven

November 23, 2007 10:39 am  
Blogger Chris said...

I agree with Steven. I just plop down 15% and call it a day. It's not my fault that they're so high-maintenance that they had to send 6 minions to a table for two.

November 23, 2007 10:56 am  
Blogger Preposterous Ponderings said...

Let them think you were cheap because they are dumbasses!

You should have left 50 cents and told them to split it.

November 23, 2007 12:42 pm  
Blogger Daniel, the Guy in the Desert said...

I always leave something. If nothing else, it's a show of solidarity for all the guys I've known who ever waited tables at any point in their life.
I know, i'm the dalai Lama of cruisers.

November 23, 2007 10:45 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

oh no.... you didn't leave a tip? you cheap bastard, you!

Next time, leave something on the table. chances are tips will be split among all involved!

November 24, 2007 9:04 am  
Blogger Anthony said...

ok. only tip they have been good to better. if they drop the baked potato with extra sour cream on your head... NO TIP!!! trust me on this one. But seriously, if service is good, 15% is a no brainer for your ( you and whomever you are with) tip. you have no idea ho little servers are paid these days.

November 25, 2007 1:18 am  
Blogger Single Guy said...

Glad we dont tip in australia...waiters get paid well!

November 25, 2007 10:30 pm  
Blogger DavisMcDavis said...

I don't know the story in Canada, but in the US you're supposed to leave 15-20% of the total bill at the table, which covers the servers, bus boy, and anyone else they see fit to run by your table. The waiters are expected to tip out the bus boys from that tip - the customer isn's supposed to track down and tip each person individually or anything like that.

November 26, 2007 12:00 am  
Blogger Greg said...

I usually try to leave a little something something also, but know what Steven is going through. Recently had about 5 to 6 people wait on me. I was actually enjoying it. lol

November 26, 2007 3:01 am  

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