I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Ugly people get more action

Based on my experience of being a part-time social anthropoligist, I discover a lot of interesting quirks about the species known as man. One of these quirks is that of mating rituals.

From what the research I’ve done, the range varies and is as broad as a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. Out of all the material that has passed through my hands, there is one that I find incredibly fascinating: Ugly people get more action than beautiful people.

Now, before my inbox begins to fill up with a litany of dissenting e-mails, let me first state my case before the court before I’m judged and sent to the chair.

Without going into a dissertation, or thesis presentation, I know people on both side of the fence, and I can say that I know what I’m talking about.

The supermodels of the world are always complaining that they don’t get as much action as others think because they "intimidate" potential mates due to their stunning beauty. Also, they’re usually pickier/choosier since that’s a perk to being a supermodel, their aesthetic standards are higher since they’ve been raised not knowing otherwise, and they they’re attracted to certain physical traits that are visually appealing in case they feel the need to breed a pack of supermodel children (survival of the prettiest).

Those who aren’t supermodels (the "ugly" people), get the spoils. The spoils, being about seven billion people, minus the handful of supermodels. Naturally, that doesn’t also mean they’re not picky/choosy, have high aesthetic standards, or are attracted to certain physical traits.

What they do have over supermodels is the ability to be themselves. They know they’re not supermodels, and they don’t care. They’re normal. They have jobs, social lives, hobbies, and skills that don’t entail standing in front of a camera or walking down a runway. In fact, their confidence radiates because they know their talents won’t fade when they grow older (unlike the people seen pouting at your from a magazine advertisement).

Of course, if they’re ugly and think they’re a supermodel… that’s a whole other quirk that deserves more research.


Blogger Brent said...

I've often believed this too. Too bad it doesn't work in my case LOL.

November 19, 2007 8:10 am  
Blogger Sooo-this-is-me said...

Woohoo! I'm going to finally get me some! This post made me so happy Steven! OK guys my phone number is 724....... ; )


November 19, 2007 9:59 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

so, are you getting more action than your average supermodel?

November 19, 2007 10:33 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What does it mean when you don't get any action at all?

November 19, 2007 8:51 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

What does it mean when you're just average looking, neither ugly or gorgeous?

November 20, 2007 9:37 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like to think there's more options than just "supermodel" and "ugly". Maybe handsome, pleasing, perfectly nice, or whatnot?

November 20, 2007 12:41 pm  
Blogger Steven said...

Not to sound defensive (although it's hard in this medium), my tongue-in-cheek post was about how the 'beautiful' people are very selective in their mates, and therefore let a lot of amazing people slip through their skinny fingers.

If you're not 'beautiful' by supermodel standards, you're automatically thrown into the 'ugly' pile even though you can be considered hot by millions of others.

And, the defensive rests.

November 20, 2007 12:51 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

Well, I for one am stunningly beautiful, therefore unatainable.

November 20, 2007 1:34 pm  
Blogger madamerouge said...

An ex of mine moved to New York years ago. I asked him what it was like to live in Chelsea with all of the beautiful boys. He replied, "those kinds of people are often unhappy. They use each other for dating, for sex, for posing... it's probably a very lonely life."

I thought he made a good point.

Then he moved to Hell's Kitchen. LOLz.

November 20, 2007 11:08 pm  
Anonymous scottk said...

I totally agree with this theory and, have experienced it 2nd hand....I used to have a really good friend that was a personal trainer and as such had one of the most beautiful bodies I think I had ever seen (unfortunately, we were no more than good friends) and he could never find a date ..his theory was that he intimidated guys...but he would never find out ...and so I the more homely of the 2 always had a full social calander while my friend lived vicariously through my conquests(not that there were that many) I ain't a ho ..Im' just sayin'

November 21, 2007 10:52 pm  
Blogger sexy said...


March 17, 2009 6:05 am  

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