I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Force majeure

Force majeure is defined as an act of God. It is a term used in many contracts as a scapegoat to avoid any sort of culpability on the side of the service provider. If anything goes wrong, you can’t screw with them, because no one fucks with God.

But, what happens when you have to get somewhere by car, like work or an appointment, and the weather is stopping you from arriving on time? Who are you going to blame? Can you fuck with God then?


It is inevitable that with the first major snowfall of the season, there will be hundreds of accidents on the road. Cars are piled up, one on top of another, and people are pissed, even when it’s - technically - their fault.

For some reason, drivers continue to speed at 120 km/h even though there is poor visibility, and they can’t see the road or the car in front/beside/behind them. They also don’t realize that they shouldn’t be slamming on the brakes when the roads are icy and/or slippery because that causes the car to spin out of control.

And, don't get me started on freezing rain. Some people think nothing of it and continue to rip up the roads like the crazy motherfuckers they are.

So, as a result of force majeure, people are stuck in traffic, therefore arriving late to their destination. When they finally get to point B from point A, the ‘weather’ excuse is often heard (thereby blaming God).

Of course, you never hear anyone blame God when there’s an 18-car pileup on the highway when it's nice weather because that would be plain ol' stupid - blame the other people on the road.

But, just to make sure, if I’m ever late for anything in the future, I’ll fuck with God and blame him. I mean, it’s easier than blaming yourself because you're a shitty driver. Right?


Blogger Chris said...

This post is not sexy enough and you did not show enough skin. Come on, didn't we go over this?

December 03, 2007 9:33 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

did i miss a few days? is this wtf?

December 03, 2007 9:42 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

when that first snow (however light) hits, it really is amazing how all driving skills seem to disintegrate. Yeah, it's the fault of the weather - but only in the sense that in bad weather drivers do bizzare things... like not paying attention to the weather. And the black ice.

December 03, 2007 9:47 am  
Blogger Shirley Heezgay! said...

i deliberately stayed off the roads this weekend.

i'm a great winter driver; it's the a-holes that i have no control over that freak me out.

December 03, 2007 10:07 am  
Blogger RomanHans said...

Is this your way of telling us you hit another old lady?

December 03, 2007 11:24 am  
Blogger Chris said...

You hit an old lady? That's fifty points!

December 03, 2007 1:18 pm  
Blogger Lewis said...

Winds are 50 here today (100 on the coast), heavy rain...it's quite lovely. But no freezing rain....

December 03, 2007 5:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I DO NOT drive during bad weather!

Which means most of the winter I either become a hermit or ride with someone else.

December 03, 2007 8:41 pm  
Blogger nikoeternal.com said...

What in rootin' tootin' tarnation is km/h? *Picks his left ear and spits out chewin' tabacci while pullin up his pants*

December 03, 2007 10:39 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL!! Try coming out here to Vancouver where hardly anyone has snow tyres!! It took me over 1.5 hours to go 30km yesterday afternoon - we had promised to visit the mother-in-law. trust me. missing that would have been much much worse.

December 04, 2007 12:30 am  

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