I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Twenty dollars in an envelope

When I was young, I’d always get the same gift from the other kids (or specifically, their parents) when it was my birthday: $20 in an envelope. It became old hat because, after a while, it was as if it was the same $20 that went around from kid to kid, birthday to birthday.

Can you imagine the hygienic issues associated with that piece of paper? Come to think of it, I’d rather not.

Anyway, since my birthday is in exactly one month, I thought it would be a good idea to ask for no presents… except for $20 in an envelope. If you think about it, it’s the price for two drinks at any bar/lounge, or for a quick lunch (with coffee, but without dessert).

If you ten people are gracious enough to pay it forward, that’s $200. That way, I can buy what I want, when I want it. Hell, I can even go to NYC again for a couple of days to stop hearing the gripes of “Why don’t you come to NYC?” Granted, I’d only have enough money for ½ my plane fare and I’d have to sleep on the street and stop eating for the entirety of the trip, but I could live with that.

Or, if I get a lot of monetary gifts, I can finally afford the mail-order bride I've had my eye on.

And, don’t worry if you don’t know where to send the envelope; e-mail me and I’ll pass it along because that's what a generous person (like me) does.

7 Comments:

Blogger Chris said...

In New York City, that's called panhandling.

Here's an idea: when you get here, you can beg on the subway. You can make a lot of money if you're "pregnant", "recently released from the military" or selling M&M's for your "basketball team". It helps if you know an instrument. Loud horns are great for getting attention.

December 10, 2007 10:19 am  
Blogger nikoeternal.com said...

and don't forget the crutches; it's xmas time and people are in a giving mood.

December 10, 2007 1:56 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You need to sign that $20 bill and see if it ever makes it's way back to you.

December 10, 2007 3:52 pm  
Blogger A Lewis said...

Maybe I should just keep the $20 and pretend like you Paid It Forward to me already.....and I suppose to come to Portland would require more than $20 each, eh?

December 10, 2007 9:27 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow!
Stephen, if this monetary panhandling things works, let me know!
I'd like to try it on my visitors! lol - kidding! (I think ...)

December 11, 2007 2:31 am  
Blogger R said...

I've notified my friends for this holiday that I'm no longer giving gifts but making donations to charity, so if there's a charity other than the "Stephen Fund," I could probably send a few cents; I'll think of it like NPR - I get great pleasure from reading your blog, so I'll make the donation.

December 11, 2007 8:38 pm  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

$20? Is that US Dollars or Canadian. Caus if it's US Dollars, that means only about $16 canadian. And if its canadian, you're asking us yanks to send you $27 US?

My head hurts.

December 11, 2007 11:49 pm  

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