As if I don't even exist

Down the street, I see N walking towards me. He’s wearing his usual working uniform of dark on dark clothes and dark sunglasses even though it’s cloudy outside, on the verge of raining.

As he approaches me, I think he’ll stop and say something. We haven’t spoken in weeks and it’s not because I haven’t tried to get a hold of him. At first, I thought it was because of his schedule; his office is very busy right now. After two missed phone calls and no returned e-mail messages, I know something is wrong.

I smile, waiting for him to say something. He walks right past me, as if I don’t even exist. I turn around to make sure if it was really N. It is and was N. He just strolled past, pretending he didn’t pass me. And, it's cold. Ice cold.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. The pang of rejection from another makes me feel like I don’t even deserve to be acknowledged. I burn inside, not out of anger, but out of a mixture of emotions I can’t put my finger on.

Whatever happened to our past? Whatever happened to the times we spent together? They were good, if incredibly complicated. Still, complications shouldn’t be a deterrent to enjoy the company of another person. No one lives a simple life, and we can’t avoid it no matter how hard we try.

Still, it hurts.