I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

As if I don't even exist

Down the street, I see N walking towards me. He’s wearing his usual working uniform of dark on dark clothes and dark sunglasses even though it’s cloudy outside, on the verge of raining.

As he approaches me, I think he’ll stop and say something. We haven’t spoken in weeks and it’s not because I haven’t tried to get a hold of him. At first, I thought it was because of his schedule; his office is very busy right now. After two missed phone calls and no returned e-mail messages, I know something is wrong.

I smile, waiting for him to say something. He walks right past me, as if I don’t even exist. I turn around to make sure if it was really N. It is and was N. He just strolled past, pretending he didn’t pass me. And, it's cold. Ice cold.

It hurts. It hurts a lot. The pang of rejection from another makes me feel like I don’t even deserve to be acknowledged. I burn inside, not out of anger, but out of a mixture of emotions I can’t put my finger on.

Whatever happened to our past? Whatever happened to the times we spent together? They were good, if incredibly complicated. Still, complications shouldn’t be a deterrent to enjoy the company of another person. No one lives a simple life, and we can’t avoid it no matter how hard we try.

Still, it hurts.

12 Comments:

Blogger franck said...

Doesn't Paris Hilton lead a simple life?

November 12, 2008 8:26 am  
Blogger Jake said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel, because an ex of mine did the same exact thing. I didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did.

Hang in there.

November 12, 2008 9:38 am  
Anonymous RomanHans said...

Wow. I don't get treated anywhere near as badly, and all my friends are Bratz dolls.

November 12, 2008 2:13 pm  
Blogger Jay said...

That's just...wow. You're clearly the bigger man. He's still holding onto some kind of resentment clearly which is his problem not yours.

November 12, 2008 6:25 pm  
Blogger haliaeetusguys said...

So, what's his problem? If he's got a beef with you, he should be man enough to say so, and if not, he's not worth the aggrevation! - Volker

November 13, 2008 12:33 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wasn't there an earlier post about making the first move? Couldn't you have said hello and possibly avoided the insult to your persona?

Just wondering...

Gonzo

November 13, 2008 6:40 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

maybe he ignored you because you were wearing your pyjamas!

November 13, 2008 9:15 am  
Anonymous johnmichael said...

That is extremely immature. And for some reason, I think he hurts more than you do, otherwise he would have been able to acknowledge you.

November 13, 2008 12:36 pm  
Blogger Christopher said...

What a douchebag...don't let him get to you Steven....doesn't seem like he's worth it at all!

xoxo

November 13, 2008 6:09 pm  
Blogger Chris said...

Girl, you betta go hit him with yo purse upside the head.

November 14, 2008 12:47 pm  
OpenID siawo said...

aww dat is sad...

time does seem to heal all onli if u are willing to move on n forget the wounds...i agree ignoring an injury doesnt cure it but sometimes it is the best solution

November 16, 2008 4:04 am  
Blogger Trev said...

Well, I suppose it's a trite response, but he obviously has a)no class, b)no taste and c)no good manners to speak of at all.

All that considered, I'd say you're well rid of him.

Having said all that, it still sucks to be on the hurtful end of a rejection, and it's the one feeling to which everyone can relate, whether they admit it or not. You ain't alone, so don't feel too badly. We've all been there.

Still, it would have been kinda fun if you'd have bitch-slapped the dumb out of him.

November 16, 2008 7:51 pm  

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