I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Passive-aggressive text messages

As I'm making my way up Yonge Street to meet N for drinks, I see a face that is familiar. He's walking towards me, and the closer her gets, the more I'm sure it is - it's A, a friend who I haven't seen or heard of in months.

Just before we pass one another, I nod my head, smile and mouth the words hey. There is no acknowledgement in return.

Hmmm... Maybe he didn't see me.

The next day, my phone beeps, telling me I have a new message. When I look down at the name, I see it’s from A.

Hey Steven. Hope your recovery is going well. Sorry I haven't had a chance to call you yet, do you want to meet up this week to talk things out?

Uh, what is he talking about? Recovery? Talk things out? What the fuck? Was he on drugs while writing this message?

For months, I tried to reach him. A series of emails and phone calls went unanswered. He didn’t want to talk to me. If he was a friend, I guess he would have. Now, he’s texting me with this? And, he’s one to talk about recovery. I’m not the one with a recreational narcotics addiction.

I don’t reply back. I don’t feel the need to write a passive-aggressive text message with another one.


Blogger TFG said...

Cecil Adams of The Straight Dope sez:

Comforting as it can be to pigeonhole our tormentors with off-the-shelf psychiatric diagnoses, sometimes it's best just to call a jerk a jerk.

February 05, 2009 2:20 am  
Blogger JCLL said...

That kind of behavior is an everyday occurance in Cape Town...Poeple constantly ignore you and you ALWAYS hear something you just did / removed / had / got over from someone....Fags are unbelievable...

February 05, 2009 2:30 am  
Blogger The Neighbors Will Hear said...

Didn't you have some relatively serious medical stuff going on a couple of months ago?

I'm not saying the guy's not a jerk. I'm just saying he wasn't necessarily calling you an addict.

Also, I think that at least 80% of all text messages are passive aggressive.

February 05, 2009 8:38 am  
Blogger Random Thinker said...

admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery, so apparently your recovery isn't going well.

stand in front of a mirror, and tell yourself that it is OK to admit you have an addiction, that you won't let it control you, that you are stronger than the drugs you claim not to be using...

and rely on people like A who really do care about your recovery.

and, steven, it's ok to admit your shortcomings to your 7 or 8 blog readers. we won't judge you. well, maybe we will, but you'll survive that too.

February 05, 2009 9:17 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, I guess bump your bloger readers up to 9! Standing in front of a mirror and telling yourself you have an addiction is is the dumbest advice you could receive. Standing in front of a mirror and jerking off is more productive and offers immediate gratification. You want to conquer an addiction, stand in front of an AA Meeting and say you have an addiction. Your friend "A" is for asshole. He is certainly not a friend and has no concern about you and your life. I have followed your blog for years and have always been a fan. Your are wise and witty and open and honest and put out one of the best blogs around. I have never laid a comment upon you for I often find the most ill-willed, cruel and sick people in cyberland use comments and text messages to prove they are misfits. You always know what's really going on - stay with you instincts. Don't read your comments and reply to text messages only offering free tickets to a movie, show or a free dinner. It's easy to admit you're an addict/alcholic - its challenging to stop. But possible.

February 05, 2009 11:15 am  
Blogger about a boy said...

my name is chris. and i am addict.

February 06, 2009 9:56 am  
Anonymous Gino said...

SMSes certainly leave room for interpretation. As for ignoring you for all that time, quite frankly not worth the effort.

February 07, 2009 11:29 am  
Blogger P.Brownsey said...

Can anyone explain what's passive-aggressive about the original message? I ask in all seriousness: I have been trying to get my head around the idea of being passive-aggressive and don't think I've got the hang of it. Nothing about the message seems to me obviously to invite either of the terms "passive" and "aggressive". (I don't think I'm being passive-aggressive.)


February 12, 2009 10:47 am  
Anonymous Viagra Online said...

Very interesting post, I didn't know about the aggressive messages... I'm shocked about that. Thanks for sharing with the readers and keep doing this, being informative and decent to write the matters.

January 05, 2011 12:57 pm  

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