I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Be who you want to be

As A and I are talking over a cup of coffee, he brings up the topic of identity and how he doesn’t feel like he belongs in any particular group in society. He’d like to know where he stands and asks my opinion because I have the answers to everything.

"First off, if you want to be a twink, lose weight. If you want to get buff, join a gym. Goth?” I point to A and wriggle my finger around, “Black.”

There are a couple of other groups I mention, hoping he’ll find one he’s comfortable in (i.e. the preppy). Before we move onto the next topic, I leave him with one seed of thought, planted in his mind: “And, if you want, start your own group. Let them follow you. I’m sure you’re not the only one out there.”

I can understand why people want to belong to a subsection of society; the feeling of being wanted and needed is a powerful force of human nature.

I’ve never belonged to any particular group and still don’t; I always float between them. Part of it is because my interests vary in range and scope. The other part of it is because I’m stubborn. When someone wants to categorize me, I don’t let them because I fit in so many boxes (and sometimes, none at all).

Belong to one group, or don’t belong to any. Be who you want to be. Don’t feel pressured by society to be who it thinks what you are.

And if that fails, start a group and make sure you’re making - and breaking - the rules.


Blogger Random Thinker said...

You're stubborn? I hadn't noticed.

September 25, 2009 9:20 am  
Blogger Sean said...

I float among groups too but it's because my interest/commitment doesn't go as deep. I don't know a lot about any one thing but I do know a little about many things.

September 25, 2009 11:49 am  
Blogger J Catlow-Shea said...

i've never truly belonged to a group though i've always wanted to.

that said as i get older (and older) i find that as long as i am basically happy with who i am at any given moment, who i have chosen to have around me and inspire me and feeling productive the desire is waning.

September 26, 2009 12:36 pm  

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