I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, September 14, 2009

There must be something wrong with me

Whenever I look at the people who are coupled, I have to wonder how they do it. There are so many odd couples out there. A lot of the times, I see one really hot one with one who didn’t win the genetic lottery. Fuck, they didn’t even get a couple of matching numbers on a ticket. But, there’s something there that I can’t put my finger on. And, if I want to put my finger on it, they wouldn’t let me because they’re not single.

So, I ask a series of questions: Why are some people terminally coupled? Why some people are terminally single? And why am I one of those single people?

There must be something wrong with me, I say to myself while shaking my head.

No matter the qualities I think are attractive, they never seem to matter. The assholes seem to make it easy. Like a moth to a jerk. I have a good head on my shoulders, am intelligent, witty, half-decent physical appearance (face and body), possess skills in language and dress, and I still find myself wondering why I’m single and alone.

I’ve heard of a million different reasons for this...

I’m picky with criteria
I’m shallow (because no one else is)
I’m needy
I'm distant (but more cautious)
I'm honest (no one likes the truth)
I'm a hard worker
I'm not always chill (because I'm the responsible one)
I’m not confident
I’m too confident
I’m smart (which isn't a turn on)

And on and on...

But, it doesn’t matter how much I analyze it, I know there must be something wrong with me.


Blogger Justen said...

I know exactly what you mean. I don't find it's the assholes who are terminally coupled so much as the guys who lack maturity. Someone these boys who need to grow up can get into long-term relationships and I can't? It's a total WTF scenario.

And that list of positive qualities you possess along with the reasons for being single are near-identical to my own. Ugh. This whole relationship thing is full of so much messed-up.

September 14, 2009 12:49 am  
Blogger Francois said...

You may just be part of the small minority of guys who would rather be single than in a crappy relationship. Most people seem to think that the goal of life is to find a 'life partner', husband, wife, etc. and would rather be unhappy and lonely WITH someone than be single. I'm not suggesting that it is impossible to find a perfect partner and to be happy with them for a long time - it certainly is. But I think it is much rarer than society would let us believe.

One thing I would say though, if you want to have a happy life, single or not, stop being a workaholic. Every mature, smart, eligible singleton will look at you and think: "He's already in a relationship with his job" and move on.

BTW, smart is a massive turn on ;)

September 14, 2009 5:44 am  
Blogger tornwordo said...

That's wrong thinking! Now change that tape to something more self affirming.

September 15, 2009 7:02 am  
Anonymous Miguel said...

I'm out of a long term (6 year) relationship, and had the torment of watching my beloved partner die of stomach cancer. Three years after his death, I feel a lonliness that needs to be satisfied by the comfort of warm loving arms again. I am a very successful lawyer, was very blessed with good looks from my parents (Cuban and Morrocan mix), which I'm told by my friends can be intimidating to a lot of guys. I've always thought I was a very approachable guy, yet I mostly get chancers in the 55+ age group attempting to chat me up. I'm extremely shy and in my whole life, NEVER attempted to approach anyone ,now I just can't seem to do it. Like you, I think there is something about me which keeps the guys away. I hope it's not the shyness because i think at 34, I might not be able to change that. I do wish I knew what it was.
However, I do wish someone would come and sweep me off my feet.

September 15, 2009 8:38 am  
Blogger Brand New W said...

oh sweetie, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Trust.

i'm single too and sometimes feel these emotions that you've described. i'm learning though. i'm going to a shrink and he's helping me to change my thinking and to just enjoy life as it is...

September 15, 2009 3:45 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm not sure how this relationship thing works, but I think sooner or later things fall into place. I think you just have to get on with bettering yourself and sooner or later, someone will take notice for long enough to make something of it :P

September 15, 2009 6:21 pm  
Blogger JUSTIN said...

I've been given this advice by others and are just now beginning to understand it: own your single-dom. It's much better than being in a relationship just to be in one. Eventually...you'll find your mate.

September 15, 2009 6:44 pm  
Anonymous Marlen said...

I know exactly what you mean and i feel exactly the same. Whatever I do and how hard i try, it never works out. Guys are never interessted in me. It must be something worng with me I just can't see what it is. I work hard, i have top grades in school, i work out every day- have a nice body. And yet, nobody ever wants me. Wenn ppl around me that doesnt care about what they wear or about their body or health or anything have partners. Why am I stuck in single life? Whatta hell is wrong with me?

January 29, 2010 5:35 pm  
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September 13, 2010 1:08 pm  
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