I'm not your bitch, don't hang your shit on me.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Maybe I'm meant to be alone

Not too long ago, I received a message from B, saying how he's been alone for a few years and wonders if he's ever going to remove the stigma of singledom.

To prove his point, he wrote about a few hilarious scenarios on The Simpsons and Family Guy. Basically, he said that many people have high standards and maybe those standards are what's keeping them single.

In a series of back-and-forths between us, he mentions that some people shouldn't lower their standards, even if they don't have that special someone with them. There are those who are willing to settle, and those who are comfortable being alone.

The more that I look at my past (and possible future), the more I think I'm supposed to be single. Lord knows I've had my share of disappointments in the dating pool, leaving me gasping for air because I felt like I was drowning.

And while there are people who 'fall in love' on a weekly basis, I can't have one person fall in like with me. No matter what my friends say, I don't think I'm a catch. If I was, I wouldn't be single.

Maybe there are people who are meant to be coupled and maybe there are those who aren't. Me? Maybe I'm meant to be alone.


Blogger Godfrey said...

it just seems like that right now. i feel the same way a lot too. it takes so much to put yourself out there and put the effort into meeting new people all the time just to e disappointed. but i guess i just have faith (for now at least) that all the pain of not finding the right person will all be worth it when i finally do. i just hope it happens sooner rather than later i guess. there is something to be said for not actively looking though. things tend to just fall into your lap when you're not expecting them. all i can say is just do what you think will make you happiest. if you're happy being single, go for it. some people just aren't.

September 28, 2009 1:14 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel exactly the same way. My friends seem to think that I'm an incredible catch, yet I remain single.

I do not have a problem getting dates, however, I cannot find anybody to fall "in like" with me, as you previously stated.

Maybe I am also meant to be alone.

January 27, 2010 1:01 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

or maybe there is only one person that matches with you, one perfect love. In this crazy small world, its hard to find that one person that just fits perfectly in your arms. If your content in being alone then just settle there, but if your not keep looking for that one person that makes every feeling inside of you ignite until you feel like you'll explode n all they did was smile. The one person that feels the same about you.

March 22, 2010 12:01 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It bothers me that people think that there are perfect loves. If that were true there would be no problems in relationships. The trick is to find someone who you can work through all the problems and stay on top.

April 08, 2010 1:09 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm struggling with accepting that idea that it is OK to be alone. My friends sure have a problem with it. They seem to think that trying again and again is the answer. I feel like it's stupid to do the same thing over and over and expect a different result. I was OK with this approach when all I wanted was casual sex, but not now.

June 28, 2010 12:06 pm  
Blogger Guarded Heart said...

For myself, I've come to a realization that while being in a relationship has it's perks, I may not be meant to be in one. One must first have feel complete in a relationship with themselves-- which I don't. I don't like the idea of having to check in with anyone or be tied down. All my relationships have followed the same pattern and have ended pretty much the same way. I tend to want to control and run relationships like businesses (yes, I have my issues-- apparently) and do my best to mold the person into what I want them to be, thereby setting myself for failure each and every time. For the FIRST time in my life, I am single and don't feel the need to jump right back into another. I'm more than content being "alone". I have family, friends, and my dog to fill the void.

November 17, 2010 2:58 pm  
Anonymous viagra online said...

I thing, he's wrong, because there are a lot people who just like to be alone, and they satisfied they needs by themselves and I don't see that weird or something.
Thanks for the post.

January 05, 2011 12:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had this feeling of isolation and disconnect my whole life. Now, whether or not this prophecy is self-fulfilling or not, I firmly accept at age 37 that being alone may be it for me; no matter how hard I try. But, if nothing else, there's peace in acceptance. It's still sucks at times though.

February 28, 2011 4:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's tougher when you have someone fall in love with you, and then wake up one day realizing they don't. I have yet to find that right one, and just like everyone else that has posted, I keep hearing how a wonderful woman I am, but yet, the only men that cross my path are the kind that one day realizes they weren't ready for a relationship/moving in together. But then two weeks after we split up, he's already dating someone else. I turn 27 this year, and I'm single, no children. The past 2 years dating wise has left me numb. And I seen a few of you said your keeping the faith, but I so numb and broken emotionally, the thought of marriage/kids seems so unlikely to me. Because i'm afraid that if I do meet that "right man", he's gonna wake up one day like all the other men in my past saying they weren't ready. My previous ex, I stepped up to the role as his wife (common law) and the mother to his two children. Then one day, we got into a meaningless argument, and the end result was me being thrown out. I moved across the country to be with him and I was in a place where I had no friends/family. I had to stay in a shelter for a few weeks until I figured something out. And to top it off, Those two kids I loved as if I gave birth to them, was taken from me. But then, i tried dating again. My friend introduced me to a man and things were great at first, and we moved in together. Then a week after I moved in, He laid down in bed one morning and said he felt that we moved too fast, and he wasn't ready to live with anyone right now. After these past experiences, I dug a hole inside of myself and put my heart, my feelings and my emotions inside of that hole, and buried it. In order to prevent me from breaking 100%, I had to fill myself up with stone. And people always say there are signs to see that things are falling apart. Well, in my case, every ex I had was such good actors, I never saw any signs. I was literally hit from the blind side. It's painful to deal with the fact that you possibly were meant to be without a partner. Especially me, where all my siblings are either engaged or in long term relationships, my parents who are divorced is the same, they now have partners and my cousins all have someone in their lives, and i'm the only one who is by myself.

April 16, 2011 1:35 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been in a relationship for nearly 4 years and I am starting to feel more and more every day that I am really meant to be alone and will be better alone

September 07, 2011 9:34 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While some people find their loved ones at school, even kindy others go through life not finding the right one, i believe we all have a couple of 'perfect'ones for us maybe the ones of us who are alone ours died or are gay, but i do believe that a certain percent of us are meant to be alone, it would be nice if we got a choice though, there is a lot to ask destiny about or god whichever u believe in.....

January 17, 2012 6:54 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think being alone is just the same in the grand scheme of things. I don't mind it, I'm not on the "hunt" and I'm not exactly a wallflower. I love attention, helping, inventing, but I don't rely on a spouse for direction. Maybe I am just too much at piece with myself but I feel what is meant to be will unfold. I believe in love and I share it with everyone I meet. Needless to say a casual overnight isn't shabby. Live long and prosper broken hearts

September 17, 2012 5:09 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

We do live in an increasingly narcissistic society. The expectations that most narcissists have are clearly unrealistic and unfair. Statistically narcissism is on the rise in the United States of America. In psychology today this phenomenon is partly attributed to social media, reality TV, and the pressure to be relevant online. Statistically narcissism is rarely inherited, but it is said to be a learned behavior. This could be one of the reasons you're having a difficult time in the dating pool. I would suggest reading more about the dark triad before you start dating again. Some other interesting reads out there are: the 48 laws of power, and the art of seduction. Both are books by Robert Greene. Many narcissists find literature like this very attractive, because they align with their personal philosophies. It so is good to keep up on what the other side is thinking. Then you know it's a red flag when you see it. Sending you my best on your adventures in love. May you find that person :-)

July 11, 2013 11:40 pm  

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