My mower, myself

When my parents are on holiday, I am in charge of taking care of the landscaping of their house. There isn’t much to do and it’s fairly typical: mowing the lawn, doing the trim work, pulling weeds and watering the flowers.

It can be intensive at times because there are a lot of little things to do, but the workout is a full-body one and I feel great – if not tired – after being in the sun and outdoors for an hour and a half.

The only issue I have is with the mower. It’s stubborn. The more that I push it to work, the more it doesn’t want to. It stalls more often than a Yugo without a catalytic converter. It’s also directionless. Even if I push it one way, it wants to go another (even in straight lines).

"Fuck! You fucker! You motherfuckerrrrrr!" is probably heard more than once. And when I'm frustrated, I yell. Loud.

Basically, it acts like a teenager even though it’s about 10 years older than one. So, like every adult, I have to manipulate it into doing what I want it to do, which is get up off its ass and stop giving me attitude or else I’m kicking it to the curb.